How to Find a Meaningful Relationship as an Older Woman

October 19, 2009 by Rebecca  
Filed under Relationships

relationshipIt’s certainly no secret that society and culture value youthfulness above all else, yet women well past their twenties and thirties are able to find meaningful relationships despite this. Learning to work the dating market in your 40s, 50s and 60s can definitely be a challenge, however, if you’re unfamiliar with the best ways to meet individuals you’d consider worthy of a romantic relationship.

Take Stock of Your Current Dating Position

If you’re having a great time dating and finding fun activities with friends of all ages and genders, you are definitely at an advantage. If, on the other hand, you have a hard time getting out of the house and finding a social life outside of your small circle of friends, you will need to broaden your horizons a bit to find a bit of romance. Even the go-getter with a wide circle of friends might need refinement when it comes to singling out romantic possibilities from various friendships.

Determine Your Goals in Dating

Before trying to leap into a new relationship, be sure that you, in fact, want a new relationship. Being alone after years of marriage can be frightening, but the solution to a bit of loneliness is not a new relationship unless you’re healed from your part relationship and ready to start another life adventure. A new relationship is not a replacement for the one you lost or left behind, and you must be emotionally stable and ready to tackle the new opportunities. If you realize you’re simply lonely, reach out to a circle of friends first and join groups and organizations to start filling that need. A new man in your life won’t be able to fill a void – that is something you’ll need to do before starting the relationship.


Begin the Search for New Dates

You can start your own search for suitable dates through your church, your organizations and the internet. If you’re intimidated by the prospects of putting yourself back on the market, consider the services of a dating coach. The coach can guide you though the development of an online dating profile and help you understand the healthiest ways to approach online dating and other relationships.

Be Open-Minded and Selective in Selecting Potential Dates

Completely opposing philosophies, but equally important. You must be open-minded when accepting invitations to meet and discuss. You likely won’t be compatible with every person you agree to meet for coffee, so don’t set your parameters so narrow that you exclude your future partner based on height or weight.

At the same time, however, do set limits that are critically important to you. If a man’s language makes you uncomfortable in communications, cease communicating. If you find his manners offensive in a phone conversation, stop calling. If you feel strongly about certain elements in a profile, such as religious persuasion, follow your instincts in those areas.


Have Fun Dating Older Men

As you arrange meetings and dates, just enjoy yourself. Work to enjoy yourself in the moment. Yes, you are certainly under scrutiny and so is he, but work past that to get to the fun of the date, even if it’s the only one you have. If you date simply without grand expectations and an eye to the joy of the experience, you’ll not only have a good time on all of you various encounters, you’ll also be more likely to find a man who enjoys your true nature as you’re not afraid to show off who you really are.

Easy Step By Step Instructions When Dating as an Older Woman
  • Take stock in where you are currently in your dating plans
  • Determine what you want from dating and be sure those goals are healthy and positive
  • Begin searching for new dates
  • Carefully select dates to meet and visit with
  • Have fun and see the joy in each date you try and you’ll enjoy them all, regardless of outcome
Warnings, Advice, and Suggestions for Older Women Who are Dating

Work at being happy and healthy on your own. Your innate wisdom and overall personality will shine through if you’re fulfilled in your own right.

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How To Make Time for Each Other

July 23, 2008 by admin  
Filed under Relationships

how to make time to spend togetherIn our busy worlds, it can be very hard to actually find time to enjoy each other’s company. If you find you are always passing each other rather than slowing down to speak to one another, it’s time you figured out how to make time for your spouse.

Examine Your Schedule

If you’re constantly on the go, it’s not necessarily healthy for you or your relationship. Relationships need patience and nurturing and many don’t receive the care they need if you never have time to focus on romance. So the first thing in finding time to spend together is to look at what is already on your calendar. Make a daily list of things that you do so that you can see exactly how your life works and what your schedule looks like.

Trim the Fat

Once you’ve got everything on the calendar, start working through your schedule trimming the wasted time and eliminating activities. For example, if you drop your son off at karate, then go pick up your daughter before dropping her off at dance, would you save time by picking up kids up first, dropping them both off, and possibly swinging by to pick up the dry cleaning on the way to or from the activities?

Are you going to the grocery store more than once a week? Would a better list help cut down the trips, or would possibly going to a different store with a bigger selection be better? How many side trips do you make every day and do you really need to stay that late at the office? Can you work through lunch and cut out early a day or two a week, or even run errands during lunch to save time at the end of the day?

Expand Your Network

Once you’ve rearranged your own schedule, reach out to friends and family to see if there is any kind of help out there. Perhaps your daughter’s best friend goes to the same dance class. Could the friend’s mother drop the girls off and you pick them up? Or is your spouse willing to handle one child’s events while you take care of another? You might even be lucky enough to have grandparents nearby who would enjoy picking up the kids and having them over for the evening one day a week.

Schedule a Date

Finally, your new schedule should have some extra time. Immediate fill it up. But this time, you may only schedule two things. The first is time for you – you need time so that you don’t burn out or make yourself sick without adequate rest. The second thing to fill up that time is a date with your spouse. Write him in the calendar in ink. And put his name on your schedule at least once per week. Be sure your spouse has done the same.

Keep the Appointment

The hardest thing about making time for each other is to actually keep the appointment. Spending time together doesn’t have to be a big deal, and you don’t even have to leave the house. Play a board game together or make a special dinner – even if it’s a very late one. Open a bottle of wine and enjoy a romantic movie. Get in a routine of togetherness, and soon you’ll find that you count on that time together for its relaxation and predictability – a bit of calm in an otherwise crazy world.

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How To Keep Romance Alive

July 23, 2008 by admin  
Filed under Relationships

how to keep romance aliveA marriage is supposed to be forever, and the first few months of forever are easy enough. But as the years drag on, the bills pile up and the kids start arriving, the fun and games of early marriage start to fade away. But you can keep the romance and spirit of your marriage alive – it just takes a bit of work

Start Dating Again

The best way to keep the romance alive in a marriage is to remember what put it there in the first place. Go on dates as regularly as possible. A date is an outing where the two of you leave the kids behind with a sitter or set up a rendezvous with a movie and take out after the kids are safely in bed for the night. In short – no kids allowed.

Don’t just spend the "date" sorting laundry or running errands together. Sit close, cuddle and maybe kiss a little. Laugh at the funny parts of the movie and talk about your hopes and dreams. Enjoy your time together, even if it’s just a couple of hours a week – that may be all you need to stay connected and feel romantic.

Surprises

One of the best ways to show you care about someone is to bring them little treats and surprises that are meaningful especially to them. Candy, cards and flowers are always a nice treat, but if you know your wife is working hard to lose weight, swing by the yogurt store and bring home some fat free frozen yogurt in her favorite flavor. Or, buy her a romantic nightgown or dress to hug her new shape. Just be sure the surprise is for her not you.

Tender Words

A great many people are verbal communicators. They need to speak and hear the words to feel loved. But unfortunately, romantic words are often replaced with the basic tasks and instructions to get us through the day. If you find you’re not telling your wife how much she means to you, find little ways to tell her. Whisper it to her at dinner. Leave a small handwritten note by her sink. Buy a card and put it on her windshield first thing the morning so she can start the day off with a lift and a smile.

Behind Closed Doors

Finally, keep the romance alive by acting out that romance in the bedroom (or any other room of the house.) Keep things lively and interesting. Take turns on the kind of evenings you have. If you like sex one way, and she likes it another, alternate activities and foreplay so that nobody feels slighted or left out.

Look at new activities together to find something that both of you agree would be fun to try. Then have a good time – sex shouldn’t be boring. Find ways to make it fresh and interesting, even if it means stepping outside of your comfort zone or giving in to just one more massage before the real action gets started.

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How to Tell a Guy You Like Him

July 22, 2008 by admin  
Filed under Relationships

how to tell a guy you like himWomen like to show a guy they care despite the fact that men hear words louder than action. While it can be hard to move away from cooking meals and buying him a new tie to show you care, try to find a way to tell a guy you like him that will actually let him know your feelings in his own language – English.

Say the Words

Saying “I like you” doesn’t have the same power or pressure as the more popular, “I love you.” If you’re not sure it’s love, but you’re pretty sure it’s like, feel free to blurt it out. If you’re too squeamish to say it in the heat of the moment, sneak it in while the two of you are laughing about something else. “Ha, ha – you are so funny! That must be why I like you so much!”

Write the Words

If you find you can’t just say the words, feel free to write them. Bake him a cake the way you secretly want to, but then use a bag of candy or chocolate chips to write it out, “I like you.” Or if that seems to cheesy, write him a little note and slip it in his pocket. Or better yet, text him during the day sometime to keep it light, “You know? I really like you – let’s meet for lunch.” Men like food, and they like to be liked. It’s a win-win all around.

Give the Gift

You’re dying to do it, so go ahead. Show the man you care. But if you’re going to pamper him, do it in a way that the message is clear. Washing his socks is nice, but it doesn’t shout romance. Buy him something totally unexpected such as chocolate dipped peppers or a new plant for his office. Since there couldn’t possibly be any other reason to send a present like that over, your guy should get the message loud and clear.

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How to Tell a Girl You Like Her

July 22, 2008 by admin  
Filed under Relationships

how do I tell a girl I like herFrom the earliest days of primary school, boys and men have been faced with an age-old quandary: how to tell a girl that you like her. While there are plenty of options ranging from chasing her down on the playground at recess to showering her with gifts, there is no way to guarantee that a particular choice will produce the optimal result of her returning your affections. However you decide to tell her, the most important thing is that you actually tell her, rather than living in a state of uncertainty or constantly wondering what could have been.

From the earliest days of primary school, boys and men have been faced with an age-old quandary: how to tell a girl that you like her. While there are plenty of options ranging from chasing her down on the playground at recess to showering her with gifts, there is no way to guarantee that a particular choice will produce the optimal result of her returning your affections. However you decide to tell her, the most important thing is that you actually tell her, rather than living in a state of uncertainty or constantly wondering what could have been.

Custom-Made

Just like your girl is one-of-a-kind, you need to be sure your confession matches her personality. What works for one girl may not work for another. Keep this in mind if, when offering you advice, your buddy swears that his way is the only way. Most girls will appreciate your attempt to appeal to their unique preferences and your efforts to treat them like an individual.

Basic Choices

While no method of revealing your feelings can be labeled as easy, these choices are fairly basic and will allow you to save some money for those dates that will hopefully follow. A well-thought out verbal confession uncluttered by gifts or gimmicks is the most basic, yet for some, the most nerve-wracking option. For a sentimental-type, a handmade or store-bought card delivered in either a unique personal delivery or the conventional method (if you have the patience and trust the postal service with such a special delivery) can do the trick.

Gift Ideas

Depending on what type of girl you’re after, a gift may catch her attention and indicate that you are serious. Sending her a gift at her home or work may be easier for you and may allow her time to process your revelation. Traditional gifts include items such as flowers, jewelry, teddy bears, and chocolate covered-strawberries or other chocolates. Non-traditional gifts may show her that you know more about her than the average guy.

For instance, buying her the newest CD of her favorite artist shows that you care about the details of her life. Think about things that she is passionate about, like a pet or a hobby, or some piece of personal history that you share and buy a gift along those lines. Remember, though, you don’t want her to go out with you out of a sense of obligation because of your gift. Don’t go overboard. Save that for later.

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How To Meet Women

July 22, 2008 by admin  
Filed under Relationships

how to meet a girl When it comes to meeting new people many men are have trouble meeting that perfect woman. There are many different places where you can start your search in order to find the one you are looking for.

Online Dating Sites:
One of the most successful methods in today’s world to meet women is through online dating sites. This enables you to search through local women’s profiles in the comfort of your own home, at your own leisure. Another benefit of this is that you can take the relationship at your own pace, you’re never pressured into anything you don’t want to do.

At first you can simply send emails to various people to get to know them, if you think you found a potential match then you can take it further in the form of instant messaging, phone talk or even meeting up with them in person.

As you will know playing the dating game can be very expensive, if you go out and around the bars and night clubs you can easily spend around $60 a night, do this a few times a month and you are spending a small fortune and are not guaranteed to find anyone. This is where the online dating sites come in, for a fee of around $10 a month or even free in some cases, you can have access to thousands of profiles of local singles in your area. One nice feature is that you can put your profile online and single women can view it and get in contact with you if they would like to get to know you more so you don’t have to do all the work.

People are turning to online dating sites due to the convenience, you can surf day or night in the comfort of your own home. Not everyone has sociable hours of work which may restrict your social life if you work nights so dating online may seem like the only practical solution. You don’t have to impress anyone with your dress sense or spend lots of effort on picking the right outfit for the occasion.

Always be careful what type of information you give out to strangers, although you may have been chatting to someone for a while you still don’t really know them and they may be leading you into a false illusion or misleading you. Never give any personal information such as address, telephone number and especially any credit card details.

It’s recommended that you at least try online dating, you never know you might find the woman of your dreams and hit it off right away. At the very least you will make a fair few good friends.

Local bars and clubs:A popular scene to meet new people is at your local bars, this can be a successful method in order to find potential next girlfriend but can also be very costly in the long run. It can also end up a complete waste of time as you will get talking to many women and trying to get to know them but then find out that you have nothing in common with them. The price also plays a big factor in the dating game as going out a few times a week or month, depending how much free time and active you are can easily cost well over $50 per session.

You have be willing to put the effort into your appearance in order to meet anyone worth meeting again, always take it slow and never rush into anything you may regret after. With the cost put aside the next problem is alcohol, people tend to act differently when alcohol is consumed as it has different effects on different people. It also affects your judgment and makes you choose the type of people that you think or want to get on with but have absolutely nothing in common.

The good thing about meeting new people in the bars and clubs is the fact you will be having a good time with your friends, I personally think if your looking for a long term relationship then this may not be the best method but you can guarantee you will have a good night out with your friends. It’s always best to not consume as much alcohol so you are aware of the people you meet and can make an intelligent decision on what to do next.

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How To Meet a Guy Online

July 22, 2008 by admin  
Filed under Relationships

how to meet a guy onlineLet’s face it!  Today’s dating world is completely different than it was in the old 1960’s drive-in movie with stale popcorn and your dad’s convertible.  Between working longer and longer hours, after work routines, and family activities, it can be hard to find someone who fits the mold you are looking for.  That is where online dating comes into play and meeting a guy online is the newest and best way to do it.

First, let me tell you that it is time to let go of any stigma you might have about dating online. It’s the 21rst century and it’s time for you to climb aboard and enjoy the ride. Plus, meeting someone online can be much safer for you, if done smartly, than traditional dating.

Here is how you can find a guy online and get your first date. It’s fast, it’s easy and you will be surprised  how effective it is. Start by realizing that you have to go to a dating site to fill out some very basic and non intrusive information about yourself. 

After you have established your own profile:

  • Check your profile for any errors. It sounds odd, however, there are many men/women alike who say that a poorly spelled or grammatically incorrect profile is definitely a turn off.  90% of online profiles contain errors, make sure yours does not!
  • You also need to make sure that you have a great photo posted with those pearly whites showing.  Everybody loves a good smile and profiles that do not have a picture are usually ignored.
  • Don’t be shy. The internet is taking away that first awkward introduction.  You can forget about the communication barriers that have held you back before and let people know who you really are.  In other words, BE OPEN and BE HONEST.

After you have your profile:

  • Make sure that you have a great attitude towards those who try to meet you, as well as those you try to meet.  You will have more fun and you’ll meet more people by showing the great attitude that you have. Besides, nobody likes a bore.
  • You also need to make sure that you are ready for this type of fun.  Meeting someone online is definitely an easy way for you to find someone who shares your same likes/dislikes in many areas. Be prepared and open to meet someone.
  • Like they say, "Good things come to those who wait." Don’t expect to find “The one and only” right away.  Get to know people and go on some fun dates. The more experience you have with meeting people online, the more you will understand what works for you.
  • Make yourself a goal to date 100 men. With this goal (which is easy to meet in a year) you avoid setting yourself up for failure and increase the chance of meeting Mr. Right and not just a Mr. Right Now.

Make first contact:

  • When you go to search for men, keep your initial search to your town only (you can always increase it later) Try and introduce yourself to at least 5-10 new men per week. Once you have exhausted options in your town you can increase the radius of your search.
  • After you have found 5-10 men in your area, you can then try to contact them. Send them and e mail, send them an instant message, send them whatever!  The point here, is to make contact.
  • Make a personal email template that you send out to the men you chose.  Honestly, it’s not to hard. Just write up a quick intro email, cut and copy it, then save it to your desktop. This email will help you to save a lot of time when introducing yourself to every guy you might be interested in.
  • As soon as you get a response, you need to be on the ball and respond back. Men love women who show that they are interested.  Don’t respond within the first five minutes (you are not desperate, and if you are, you don’t want them to know that) but respond back within a day or two. Ensure that your reply is at least three paragraphs long!
  • When you do find someone that you share a great interest in, make sure to set up a phone call and then a date. Do not even think about an online relationship until at least three dates.  Plan to set something up and go on that DATE!  Remember to be you and to have fun.

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How to Find a Boyfriend

July 22, 2008 by admin  
Filed under Relationships

how to find a boyfriendIf you’re out of school, and afraid to taint your reputation at work by dating co-workers, you might find yourself in an awkward situation. There are horror stories about men you meet in bars and if one more friend fixes you up with some weird guy, you’ll probably lose it. If you want a boyfriend, but can’t seem to find one in your current situation, here’s how to land a decent guy – who might just turn out to be the man of your dreams.

Take Advantage of Internet Dating Sites

Internet dating sites had a seedy reputation for a long time, but today they are acknowledged as a legitimate means to finding others looking for love or at least a good time. If you’re going to use a singles dating site, be sure you understand how the site works and protect yourself by keeping your distance from prospective dates until you’re completely comfortable.

For example, go ahead and create a profile on a dating site and read through the profiles of others. If you get any interested responses, read through them carefully and reply through the board careful to not give away any personal details about yourself such as your last name, phone number or personal email address. Continue your conversation through the site, and then use a personal email address you’ve set up separate from your normal account to speak with him further.

Speak with him on the phone a few times to be sure there are no surprises as to his age before meeting him, and your initial meeting should be in the company of others. Meet him in a popular coffeehouse or restaurant and be sure to let a friend know where you’ll be. Hopefully after meeting him all will be well and you can continue getting to know each other.

Take a Class or Join a Club

If you want to meet people outside of work and away from all that “help” offered by friends and family, go where your type of guy will be. If you want an athletic boyfriend, head to the gym for a membership and sign up for a few personal lessons to learn to use the circuit training system or weights. Make eye contact with possibilities, and see if you get a response. If you become a regular gym member, you’ll be seeing a lot of the same people over and over again offering you plenty of opportunities to strike up a conversation or flirt.

If you want a more intellectual man, join a literary society or take a class at the local community college for enrichment. Like sailing? Join a sailing club. Want a religious man? Join a Bible study.

Go to Church and Participate in the Community

Often romance will strike when you’re least expecting it, so stay active in areas that are important to you. That way, men you’ll be around will have the same priorities saving you a lot of headaches down the road. If you are religious, take advantage of the many singles programs offered by churches to meet new people.

Community service projects such as Habitat for Humanity or other hands on projects will let you rub shoulders with others trying to make the world a better place. And you never know, maybe they’ll make your world a better place, too.

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How to Dress for a Date

July 22, 2008 by admin  
Filed under Relationships

how to dress for a dateYour first date is a thing of beauty – and incredible stress. Do you dress up? Will you look like you’re trying to hard? Or should you dress normally and risk looking sloppy? It can be tough to pick the perfect outfit, but relax – you can do it.

Determine Location

Location is the single most important factor on a date. If you’re going ice skating, you want to be prepared and not be the only one in a mini skirt on the ice. Likewise you’ll want to skip the skinny jeans on the beach. Speak to the lucky guy to determine where you’re going to go on this date. If he acts like you’re stressing him out or putting him on the spot, make a gentle suggestion that you keep things low key – and then dress for dinner and a movie.

Pick an Outfit

Start combing through your closet looking for something to wear. You want to pull together an outfit with the following criteria:

  • You know its flattering, so you feel your best.
  • You are comfortable in it so you’re not pulling at your skirt or trying to make your buttons stay closed.
  • You have flexibility in case you wind up riding horses or bowling rather than dancing the night away.
  • You are dressing for the middle road – not too casual and not too fancy.
  • It’s clean and not stained.
Get Dressed

Pull your outfit on to make sure it feels right. You should be comfortable without worrying about bending too far in your skirt or getting blisters from your shoes. You want to wear something that’s normal for you so that you’re not more uncomfortable than a typical first date should be, but you want to look nice. Pants and a nice shirt, a cute sundress, or jeans and a sweater are good, middle-of-the-road choices.

Check the Details

Before you head out the door, you’ll want to be sure you’ve got the details covered. Check for any stains or dirty spots. Lint removers will help take care of any stray cat hairs, and you’ll want to cut (not pull) any loose threads. Are you pulled together? Do you feel good? Then go and have a great time!

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