How to Get Over a Boy

Love hurts sometimes, and to be quite honest, so does “like.” But whether you loved him or just liked him, many relationships eventually break up and it’s time to move on. Moving on can be a challenge, through – especially if this was your first serious relationship.

Come to Terms with the Relationship

You don’t have to play games in your head about the relationships. Go back through your pictures and letters and look at what really happened to the two of you. It might be that you were growing apart for months and you just didn’t realize it at the time. Or perhaps you were only together because neither one of you wanted to be the one to end it. Whatever happened, lay it all out for yourself and try to figure out how you feel about it. Of course you’re hurt and sad, but is there a feeling underneath? Jealousy? Anger? Fear? Relief? The more you know about you, the easier recovery will be.

Surround Yourself with Positive Friends

A breakup is a time to first spend alone as you deal with the fall out. Then you’ll want to have your friends around you as you start to move on. Having friends around gives you something to focus on other than what’s inside of you. You’ll be able to laugh, joke and have a good time again – even if you’re still hurting a bit. It’s important to remember that smiling through the pain is good for you; staying upbeat and not allowing you or your friends to wallow in the drama of it all makes the whole thing fade away just a little bit faster.

Dedicate That Extra Time to Something Productive

You will likely have some extra time after the breakup if you’d previously been spending that time with your guy. So start surrounding yourself with other people or other hobbies. Go out with some new friends to see what sorts of adventures you’ll have. Do some volunteer or mission work. Try out for the school play or pick up a paint brush to see how you do with a blank canvas. The more work you have to do, the better occupied you and your mind will be as you recover.

Easy Step By Step Instructions For Getting Over a Boy

• Spend some time thinking about the relationship and replaying it to sort through it all in your mind.
• Surround yourself with friends who can distract you and give you a new focus.
• Find new hobbies and activities to fill the time you have now that you’re single.

Warnings, Advice, and Suggestions When Getting Over a Boy

It might be tempting to rush out and find another guy right after a break-up, but try to avoid that. You need time to learn and heal from a broken relationship, and you can’t heal if you’re immediately falling into the same sort of relationship again.

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How to Find a Meaningful Relationship as an Older Woman

It’s certainly no secret that society and culture value youthfulness above all else, yet women well past their twenties and thirties are able to find meaningful relationships despite this. Learning to work the dating market in your 40s, 50s and 60s can definitely be a challenge, however, if you’re unfamiliar with the best ways to meet individuals you’d consider worthy of a romantic relationship.

Take Stock of Your Current Dating Position

If you’re having a great time dating and finding fun activities with friends of all ages and genders, you are definitely at an advantage. If, on the other hand, you have a hard time getting out of the house and finding a social life outside of your small circle of friends, you will need to broaden your horizons a bit to find a bit of romance. Even the go-getter with a wide circle of friends might need refinement when it comes to singling out romantic possibilities from various friendships.

Determine Your Goals in Dating

Before trying to leap into a new relationship, be sure that you, in fact, want a new relationship. Being alone after years of marriage can be frightening, but the solution to a bit of loneliness is not a new relationship unless you’re healed from your part relationship and ready to start another life adventure. A new relationship is not a replacement for the one you lost or left behind, and you must be emotionally stable and ready to tackle the new opportunities. If you realize you’re simply lonely, reach out to a circle of friends first and join groups and organizations to start filling that need. A new man in your life won’t be able to fill a void – that is something you’ll need to do before starting the relationship.

Begin the Search for New Dates

You can start your own search for suitable dates through your church, your organizations and the internet. If you’re intimidated by the prospects of putting yourself back on the market, consider the services of a dating coach. The coach can guide you though the development of an online dating profile and help you understand the healthiest ways to approach online dating and other relationships.

Be Open-Minded and Selective in Selecting Potential Dates

Completely opposing philosophies, but equally important. You must be open-minded when accepting invitations to meet and discuss. You likely won’t be compatible with every person you agree to meet for coffee, so don’t set your parameters so narrow that you exclude your future partner based on height or weight.

At the same time, however, do set limits that are critically important to you. If a man’s language makes you uncomfortable in communications, cease communicating. If you find his manners offensive in a phone conversation, stop calling. If you feel strongly about certain elements in a profile, such as religious persuasion, follow your instincts in those areas.

Have Fun Dating Older Men

As you arrange meetings and dates, just enjoy yourself. Work to enjoy yourself in the moment. Yes, you are certainly under scrutiny and so is he, but work past that to get to the fun of the date, even if it’s the only one you have. If you date simply without grand expectations and an eye to the joy of the experience, you’ll not only have a good time on all of you various encounters, you’ll also be more likely to find a man who enjoys your true nature as you’re not afraid to show off who you really are.

Easy Step By Step Instructions When Dating as an Older Woman

• Take stock in where you are currently in your dating plans
• Determine what you want from dating and be sure those goals are healthy and positive
• Begin searching for new dates
• Carefully select dates to meet and visit with
• Have fun and see the joy in each date you try and you’ll enjoy them all, regardless of outcome

Warnings, Advice, and Suggestions for Older Women Who are Dating

Work at being happy and healthy on your own. Your innate wisdom and overall personality will shine through if you’re fulfilled in your own right.

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How To Meet More Women

If you’re searching for a special someone you’ve likely tried everything from speed dating to online dating and you might even be aware of experts in the matter such as David DeAngelo. While these experts might have steps and action plans you can follow in specific situations, most men seeking women need only to do a few things to increase your chances of meeting someone special.

Be Comfortable in Yourself

The most offensive thing to a woman is a weak man. Sure, she likes you to be sensitive some of the time, but knowing who you are and what you are about within yourself shines through in a great bout of self confidence. Don’t be timid or shy about who you are. If you’re comfortable with yourself everyone else will be, too. It there are parts of yourself that you don’t like – fix them or get okay with them. Don’t hide behind them.

Know Where to Find the Kind of Woman You Want

There are different approaches to different kinds of women. If you are seeking someone for an evening of fun, a flirty pick-up line laced with a bit of raw humor might do the trick. If you’re seeking someone you’d want to have around for the long haul who you’d introduce to your mother, it’s unlikely you’d find her at a hedonism retreat in the islands – unlikely, but still possible.

If you’re seeking a fun woman, go where she would be having fun. If you are looking for a religious woman, look in places where those of her religion might congregate. If your looking for a woman interested in the same things as you – do those things and start looking around. The idea that single women are available at work or at a bar is ludicrous. They are everywhere – you need only to open your eyes to find them.

Be Bold, but Not Offensive

Women like a strong male presence, so give her one. Make assertive eye contact. Make your way over to her and ask her about herself or start a conversation about anything at all. Keep your eyes on her face and act like you own the place to a certain degree. Be honest, but totally confident. If you approach women as you would a friend, they will have little to fear from you. If you approach a woman like a homing missile, she’ll already be on the defensive. Play it cool and confident and she’ll be yours.

Easy Step By Step

• Get comfortable with yourself.
• Think about the kind of woman you want
• Go to where that kind of woman would be.
• Be confident and friendly around women.
• Act bold, but not so much so that you’re offensive.

Warnings, Advice, and Suggestions

There is a fine line between being a “nice guy” and being a wimp. Be a gentleman with a bit of a roguish flavor to you and women won’t be able to resist.

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How To Resolve Conflict in a Marriage

Marriage is hard work. When two people decide to share a life, everything is shared. The good stuff and the bad all live in the house with you, and sometimes the bad stuff can make things sticky. If you’ve hit a rough spot in your marriage, here’s how to resolve that conflict.

Identify the Conflict

The first step in resolving conflict is to figure out what the conflict is. There are all kinds of fighters, but the best kinds are not the ones who never seem to actually fight – they are the ones who take the time to figure out what they are fighting about.

If you and your spouse are suddenly at odds, immediately call a time-out. Even if you’ve just been insulted, avoid the temptation to lash back. Be the mature one and tell your significant other you want to take a few minutes to cool off so that the two of you can work this out.

Then work on figuring out why you are angry. Most fights are about symptoms, not causes. You are angry because he didn’t take the trash out, but if you stop long enough to really think about it, you might find the trash isn’t really the problem. The problem is that you asked him twice to take the trash out, he ignored both requests and you feel like he doesn’t value you.

Take Turns

It will seem rather elementary, but when you come back together, take turns. You might even use a timer or pass a feather back and forth to remind you whose turn it is to talk. If he’s still itching to fight, let him go first. Let him put it all on the table without interrupting or allowing yourself to get dragged into an argument. If he asks a question, try to avoid answering in the heat of the moment by telling him you’d rather just let him get it all off his chest before taking your turn.

When it is finally your turn, state your position calmly. Always state the problem in terms of yourself to avoid making him feel defensive (even if he should be) as this will slow down the resolution. Instead of saying, “You always make me feel worthless when you ignore me asking you to take out the trash,” try “I get angry when I feel like you’ve ignored a simple request like taking out the trash.” By making statements about you and your feelings rather than your spouse and his shortcomings you will almost immediately take the flare out of the fight.

Keep Your Cool

You can be angry. You can be furious, but you must keep your cool. Yelling might make you feel better now, but it will most likely only make a problem worse, not better. If your spouse starts yelling, ask him to stop. Simply tell him that you are interested in fixing this problem, and that you’d prefer to talk about it. If he can’t seem to stop, don’t respond in kind. Ask him to let the problem be for now and come back and revisit it later when everyone has had a chance to cool down.

Forgive Your Spouse

A problem isn’t resolved until both parties have moved past it. It’s hard to resolve every conflict by the time the sun comes up, but try to take care of as many as possible the same day they spring up. Discuss what is really bothering both of you then try to find a solution that is agreeable. Finally, forgive each other. Forgive, but don’t forget. Otherwise, you’ll just be having the same argument on down the road.

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How To Make Time for Each Other

In our busy worlds, it can be very hard to actually find time to enjoy each other’s company. If you find you are always passing each other rather than slowing down to speak to one another, it’s time you figured out how to make time for your spouse.

Examine Your Schedule

If you’re constantly on the go, it’s not necessarily healthy for you or your relationship. Relationships need patience and nurturing and many don’t receive the care they need if you never have time to focus on romance. So the first thing in finding time to spend together is to look at what is already on your calendar. Make a daily list of things that you do so that you can see exactly how your life works and what your schedule looks like.

Trim the Fat

Once you’ve got everything on the calendar, start working through your schedule trimming the wasted time and eliminating activities. For example, if you drop your son off at karate, then go pick up your daughter before dropping her off at dance, would you save time by picking up kids up first, dropping them both off, and possibly swinging by to pick up the dry cleaning on the way to or from the activities?

Are you going to the grocery store more than once a week? Would a better list help cut down the trips, or would possibly going to a different store with a bigger selection be better? How many side trips do you make every day and do you really need to stay that late at the office? Can you work through lunch and cut out early a day or two a week, or even run errands during lunch to save time at the end of the day?

Expand Your Network

Once you’ve rearranged your own schedule, reach out to friends and family to see if there is any kind of help out there. Perhaps your daughter’s best friend goes to the same dance class. Could the friend’s mother drop the girls off and you pick them up? Or is your spouse willing to handle one child’s events while you take care of another? You might even be lucky enough to have grandparents nearby who would enjoy picking up the kids and having them over for the evening one day a week.

Schedule a Date

Finally, your new schedule should have some extra time. Immediate fill it up. But this time, you may only schedule two things. The first is time for you – you need time so that you don’t burn out or make yourself sick without adequate rest. The second thing to fill up that time is a date with your spouse. Write him in the calendar in ink. And put his name on your schedule at least once per week. Be sure your spouse has done the same.

Keep the Appointment

The hardest thing about making time for each other is to actually keep the appointment. Spending time together doesn’t have to be a big deal, and you don’t even have to leave the house. Play a board game together or make a special dinner – even if it’s a very late one. Open a bottle of wine and enjoy a romantic movie. Get in a routine of togetherness, and soon you’ll find that you count on that time together for its relaxation and predictability – a bit of calm in an otherwise crazy world.

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How To Keep Romance Alive

A marriage is supposed to be forever, and the first few months of forever are easy enough. But as the years drag on, the bills pile up and the kids start arriving, the fun and games of early marriage start to fade away. But you can keep the romance and spirit of your marriage alive – it just takes a bit of work

Start Dating Again

The best way to keep the romance alive in a marriage is to remember what put it there in the first place. Go on dates as regularly as possible. A date is an outing where the two of you leave the kids behind with a sitter or set up a rendezvous with a movie and take out after the kids are safely in bed for the night. In short – no kids allowed.

Don’t just spend the "date" sorting laundry or running errands together. Sit close, cuddle and maybe kiss a little. Laugh at the funny parts of the movie and talk about your hopes and dreams. Enjoy your time together, even if it’s just a couple of hours a week – that may be all you need to stay connected and feel romantic.

Surprises

One of the best ways to show you care about someone is to bring them little treats and surprises that are meaningful especially to them. Candy, cards and flowers are always a nice treat, but if you know your wife is working hard to lose weight, swing by the yogurt store and bring home some fat free frozen yogurt in her favorite flavor. Or, buy her a romantic nightgown or dress to hug her new shape. Just be sure the surprise is for her not you.

Tender Words

A great many people are verbal communicators. They need to speak and hear the words to feel loved. But unfortunately, romantic words are often replaced with the basic tasks and instructions to get us through the day. If you find you’re not telling your wife how much she means to you, find little ways to tell her. Whisper it to her at dinner. Leave a small handwritten note by her sink. Buy a card and put it on her windshield first thing the morning so she can start the day off with a lift and a smile.

Behind Closed Doors

Finally, keep the romance alive by acting out that romance in the bedroom (or any other room of the house.) Keep things lively and interesting. Take turns on the kind of evenings you have. If you like sex one way, and she likes it another, alternate activities and foreplay so that nobody feels slighted or left out.

Look at new activities together to find something that both of you agree would be fun to try. Then have a good time – sex shouldn’t be boring. Find ways to make it fresh and interesting, even if it means stepping outside of your comfort zone or giving in to just one more massage before the real action gets started.

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How To Get Your Spouse to Change a Bad Habit

It’s been said many times – you can’t change a person. But for some reason, we keep on thinking we’ll fix someone after we marry him or her. You might not be able to change a whole person, but you might have luck changing a habit or two. Here’s how to get your spouse to change a bad habit.

Surrender

The first step in changing someone else’s habit is to surrender to it. You can’t actually force your spouse to change. Even if you find a way to bribe or blackmail him into changing, he will resent you and eventually that anger will undermine the change and add a negative aspect to the relationship.

You can’t force change, but you can encourage, guide and – best of all – make him think it’s exactly what he wants to do. So surrender the nagging, the complaining, the blackmail and the false guilt. All it will earn you is an irritated spouse determined to continue his bad habit not out of need, but simply because it’s so obvious you’re trying to make him stop.

Praise and Rewards

The next step to changing your spouse’s bad habit is to praise his good ones. Find positive things related to tasks that are essentially the opposite of the bad one. Find ways to praise and reward him not doing the bad habit in a way that isn’t threatening or even obvious.

For example, if you husband smokes but you want him to stop, after he showers, throw your arms around him and sniff him appreciatively. Tell him how sexy he smells after a shower and how much it turns you on. You might even fool around a little bit (or a lot.) Make a comment or two about how much you love it when he smells this clean and how much you love kissing him when his mouth is so fresh.

Then leave it alone. You’ve made your point. Unless you have a very dense spouse, he’ll realize that smelling (and tasting) clean is good, but smelling like smoke is bad. If you rewarded him in an exiting way that speaks to men (as is a way that doesn’t require clothing), he’ll most likely try to smell nice as often as possible. Just be sure to maintain the rewards.

Consistency

The praise and rewards system doesn’t work if you are nagging at the same time or reward good behavior only once. Find every opportunity to reward him for not smelling like smoke, tasting like cigarettes, and casually mention how you’ve noticed he’s cut down lately and how sexy it is that he’s tough to fight that addiction. Sure it’s all a mind game, but what in marriage isn’t? The more consistent reward and praise he gets, the more encouraged he will be to eliminate the bad behavior.

Be Patient

Finally, be patient. Habits aren’t easy to give up. To be truly effective your reward system must be subtle and consistent. Telling him flat out that you will let him have that new boat he’s been eyeballing if he quits isn’t a reward – its bribery. Don’t mention your plan to him or make it obvious what you are doing.

Personal rewards and praise take time to act. They are usually gradual so you must continue to be persistent. Also, don’t give up the reward system when the bad behavior is eliminated. By the time the bad behavior is completely eliminated, you should be almost constantly rewarding your spouse, and if you chose your reward and praise system well, you should be getting more than a few rewards of your own.

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How To Meet a Girl Online

Let’s face it!  Today’s dating world is completely different than it was in the old 1960’s drive-in movie with stale popcorn and your dad’s convertible.  Between working longer and longer hours, after work routines, and family activities, it can be hard to find someone who fits the mold you are looking for.  That is where online dating comes into play!

First, let me tell you that it is time to let go of any stigma you might have about dating online. It’s the 21rst century and it’s time for you to climb aboard and enjoy the ride. Plus, meeting someone online can be much safer for you, if done smartly, than traditional dating.

Here is how you can find a Girl online and get your first date. It’s fast, it’s easy and you will be surprised  how effective it is. Start by realizing that you have to go to a dating site to fill out some very basic and non intrusive information about yourself. 

After you have established your own profile:

• Check your profile for any errors. It sounds odd, however, there are many men/women alike who say that a poorly spelled or grammatically incorrect profile is definitely a turn off.  90% of online profiles contain errors, make sure yours does not!
• You also need to make sure that you have a great photo posted with those pearly whites showing.  Everybody loves a good smile and profiles that do not have a picture are usually ignored.
• Don’t be shy. The internet is taking away that first awkward introduction.  You can forget about the communication barriers that have held you back before and let people know who you really are.  In other words, BE OPEN and BE HONEST.

After you have your profile:

• Make sure that you have a great attitude towards those who try to meet you, as well as those you try to meet.  You will have more fun and you’ll meet more people by showing the great attitude that you have. Besides, nobody likes a bore.
• You also need to make sure that you are ready for this type of fun.  Meeting someone online is definitely an easy way for you to find someone who shares your same likes/dislikes in many areas. Be prepared and open to meet someone.
• Like they say, “Good things come to those who wait.”  Don’t expect to find “The one and only” right away.  Get to know people and go on some fun dates. The more experience you have with meeting people online, the more you will understand what works for you.
• Make yourself a goal to date 100 men. With this goal (which is easy to meet in a year) you avoid setting yourself up for failure and increase the chance of meeting Mr. Right and not just a Mr. Right Now.

Make first contact:

• When you go to search for men, keep your initial search to your town only (you can always increase it later) Try and introduce yourself to at least 5-10 new men per week. Once you have exhausted options in your town you can increase the radius of your search.
• After you have found 5-10 men in your area, you can then try to contact them. Send them and e mail, send them an instant message, send them whatever!  The point here, is to make contact.
• Make a personal email template that you send out to the men you chose. Honestly, it’s not to hard. Just write up a quick intro email, cut and copy it, then save it to your desktop. This email will help you to save a lot of time when introducing yourself to every Girl you might be interested in.
• As soon as you get a response, you need to be on the ball and respond back. Men love women who show that they are interested.  Don’t respond within the first five minutes (you are not desperate, and if you are, you don’t want them to know that) but respond back within a day or two. Ensure that your reply is at least three paragraphs long!
• When you do find someone that you share a great interest in, make sure to set up a phone call and then a date. Do not even think about an online relationship until at least three dates.  Plan to set something up and go on that DATE!  Remember to be you and to have fun.

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How to Reduce Stress

Stress is a nasty burden that can come into your life uninvited and wreak havoc. Stress has been tied to any number of conditions including hypertension and obesity from stress related eating. If you’re dealing with stress and would like to reduce it, here’s how.

Find Stressors

The first step to reduce stress is to find the items that are actually causing the problem. What makes you stress – your in-laws? A dirty house? Bills? Only when you understand what is causing the problem can you work on resolving it. Spend time charting your stress. Every time you feel tension and stress, make a note on a running list as to what caused it. Even when you begin dealing with stressors, keep track as this will help you reduce stress in the future as well.

Resolve Issues

If you have unresolved issues causing you stress such as credit card debt, broken relationships or a list of things you need to do that you can’t seem to start, take a day off work and make a list of things to actually accomplish. Call your banker to get started on a debt consolidation loan or set up payments so that you can pay off the debt on your own.

Make some phone calls to help mend broken fences or have a picture burning ceremony to finalize a break-up. Pull out that list of things to do and make a goal to accomplish at least three of them. Then, once you get rolling, you’ll likely feel so good, you’ll just keep going until your life is back in shape again.

Organize and Simplify

One of the best ways to reduce stress is to eliminate chaos. Organize and simplify your life. If you hate climbing out of bed to turn off the lights, a simple device such as the Clapper Plus can eliminate that annoyance. Desk organizers can help you find stamps, batteries and rubber bands when you need them. A coat and key rack can eliminate the five minutes of stress every morning while you search for your keys.

Beat Stress the Natural Way

Finally, when you have your life back under control and you’ve simplified your surroundings, you can work to actively reduce the remaining stress. You may find that just cleaning out cabinets is enough to help you relax again, but you should set up a regular fitness and nutrition program.

Exercise, even walking, has been shown time and time again to help reduce stress. Take your pet or child on a walk in the evenings to get some fresh air, exercise and time together. All three of those things will help to eliminate crippling stress.

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How to Plan a Pregnancy

A pregnancy is an exciting time. But many fail to realize that preparing for pregnancy is as important as actual conception. If you’re ready to become a parent, here’s how to plan your pregnancy.

Prepare the Body For Pregnancy

The woman’s body should be as prepared as possible for pregnancy. She should stop taking birth control pills or remove any other chemical or hormonal birth control devices well before starting work on conception to give her hormones a chance to stabilize. This also gives the body time to clear away any lingering chemicals.

The mother should be at a healthy weight for her size for an easier conception and to ensure fewer complications during pregnancy and delivery. Regular exercise is good during pregnancy, so it is wise to be in the habit prior to conception.

The prospective mother should also begin taking prenatal vitamins before conception. The first few weeks of a pregnancy are when these extra vitamins and minerals are most important, but often a woman doesn’t experience pregnancy symptoms until five or six weeks into the pregnancy.

Prepare the Home For Pregnancy

Is there space for a baby and all the large items that come with it? It is far easier to move before pregnancy than during it to avoid stain and stress on the pregnant mother.

Prepare the Finances For Pregnancy

Babies are expensive. While there is no perfect time to become pregnant, if you are facing financial difficulties, can’t pay your existing bills or foresee financial difficulties you might be better waiting until you are in a comfortable or stable position before conceiving.

Prepare the Mind For Pregnancy

You should be in a steady place in your mind. A baby should not be a solution to any problems or a method to save a relationship. Both partners should agree to try for the baby before stopping birth control.

Timing of Conception

Once you are prepared, the trying can begin. This should be a joyful time, not stressful. While it is hard to wait, most couples take more than one or two months to become pregnant. If you are looking for a specific time of delivery, for example the spring, get started a bit early to give yourself some time for false starts.

While every woman is different and every lifestyle is different, fertility begins to wane earlier than most women realize. In your twenties you have an 80% or higher chance of getting pregnant easily. By your early thirties your odds have dropped to 60%, and by thirty-five you have only a 50% chance of easily becoming pregnant.

Boosting Your Chances To Get Pregnant

To boost your chances of becoming pregnant each cycle, you can monitor for ovulation using basal readings or an ovulation predictor kit. You also are more likely to conceive if you are at a healthy weight, are active, are not overly stressed and eat a healthy and balanced diet.

Timing Sex

You should ideally have sex the exact moment your body releases an egg. Since most women have no idea when this is occurring, you can chart your ovulation using a kit or your temperature to get an idea of when you should be having sex. At the very least, you should be having sex every two or three days to ensure there are sperm ready and waiting for the egg whenever it releases. (Sperm can live up to five or more days.)

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