How to Get Over a Boy

August 5, 2010 by Rebecca  
Filed under Relationships

getting over a boy

Love hurts sometimes, and to be quite honest, so does “like.” But whether you loved him or just liked him, many relationships eventually break up and it’s time to move on. Moving on can be a challenge, through – especially if this was your first serious relationship.

Come to Terms with the Relationship

You don’t have to play games in your head about the relationships. Go back through your pictures and letters and look at what really happened to the two of you. It might be that you were growing apart for months and you just didn’t realize it at the time. Or perhaps you were only together because neither one of you wanted to be the one to end it. Whatever happened, lay it all out for yourself and try to figure out how you feel about it. Of course you’re hurt and sad, but is there a feeling underneath? Jealousy? Anger? Fear? Relief? The more you know about you, the easier recovery will be.


Surround Yourself with Positive Friends

A breakup is a time to first spend alone as you deal with the fall out. Then you’ll want to have your friends around you as you start to move on. Having friends around gives you something to focus on other than what’s inside of you. You’ll be able to laugh, joke and have a good time again – even if you’re still hurting a bit. It’s important to remember that smiling through the pain is good for you; staying upbeat and not allowing you or your friends to wallow in the drama of it all makes the whole thing fade away just a little bit faster.


Dedicate That Extra Time to Something Productive

You will likely have some extra time after the breakup if you’d previously been spending that time with your guy. So start surrounding yourself with other people or other hobbies. Go out with some new friends to see what sorts of adventures you’ll have. Do some volunteer or mission work. Try out for the school play or pick up a paint brush to see how you do with a blank canvas. The more work you have to do, the better occupied you and your mind will be as you recover.

Easy Step By Step Instructions For Getting Over a Boy
  • Spend some time thinking about the relationship and replaying it to sort through it all in your mind.
  • Surround yourself with friends who can distract you and give you a new focus.
  • Find new hobbies and activities to fill the time you have now that you’re single.
Warnings, Advice, and Suggestions When Getting Over a Boy

It might be tempting to rush out and find another guy right after a break-up, but try to avoid that. You need time to learn and heal from a broken relationship, and you can’t heal if you’re immediately falling into the same sort of relationship again.

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How to Get Indexed in MSN

July 23, 2008 by admin  
Filed under Technology

how to get indexed in msnThere are 3 ways to get indexed on MSN:

1. Direct Submit: To get indexed by MSN you can try a direct submission. With this you just enter a code from the picture and drop your URL and wait….and wait.

The problem with direct submission is that you end up on a list and eventually the spiders crawl your site but that crawl doesn’t come with any authority.

2. Work with My MSN: The logic here is that MSN pays attention to its own sites. Create an RSS feed of your navigation and add it to your account at MSN. You may need to create an account to do this but that just takes a few minutes. Then go to http://my.msn.com/ and click "Add content". Enter the URL of your feed where it says "Search for content". A message should appear stating that it is syndicated content from the web. Check the box next to the feed and click "OK". You will be returned to your main page with your feed added.

I typically change the details to display the maximum headlines (30) that are the maximum days old (356). This ensures that if MSN sees the content they can crawl and index it.

While you are there, go ahead and add your site to the "My favorite links" box.

3. Get Links: Just like all major search engines MSN loves back links. Links pointing to your site act as votes for its value. You can get free links through directories or press releases or sometimes just by asking for them. The more links you get the more likely the spiders are to stumble across your site and the more “authority” it gets.

Be sure to follow up once you have done the work to get indexed follow through to make sure it worked. You can check your server logs or analytics program for "msnbot/1.0 (+http://search.msn.com/msnbot.htm)". This means the MSN bot has hit your site!

Finally, to see which pages MSN has indexed do a site: check at http://search.msn.com. You can enter [site:www.your domain.com] or click “search Builder then select Site/Domain. You want “Find only web pages from this site or domain” selected then enter your domain and click “Add to search”. The command will appear in the search bar and you can then select “Search”. This will list the pages MSN has in its index for your site.

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How To Keep Romance Alive

July 23, 2008 by admin  
Filed under Relationships

how to keep romance aliveA marriage is supposed to be forever, and the first few months of forever are easy enough. But as the years drag on, the bills pile up and the kids start arriving, the fun and games of early marriage start to fade away. But you can keep the romance and spirit of your marriage alive – it just takes a bit of work

Start Dating Again

The best way to keep the romance alive in a marriage is to remember what put it there in the first place. Go on dates as regularly as possible. A date is an outing where the two of you leave the kids behind with a sitter or set up a rendezvous with a movie and take out after the kids are safely in bed for the night. In short – no kids allowed.

Don’t just spend the "date" sorting laundry or running errands together. Sit close, cuddle and maybe kiss a little. Laugh at the funny parts of the movie and talk about your hopes and dreams. Enjoy your time together, even if it’s just a couple of hours a week – that may be all you need to stay connected and feel romantic.

Surprises

One of the best ways to show you care about someone is to bring them little treats and surprises that are meaningful especially to them. Candy, cards and flowers are always a nice treat, but if you know your wife is working hard to lose weight, swing by the yogurt store and bring home some fat free frozen yogurt in her favorite flavor. Or, buy her a romantic nightgown or dress to hug her new shape. Just be sure the surprise is for her not you.

Tender Words

A great many people are verbal communicators. They need to speak and hear the words to feel loved. But unfortunately, romantic words are often replaced with the basic tasks and instructions to get us through the day. If you find you’re not telling your wife how much she means to you, find little ways to tell her. Whisper it to her at dinner. Leave a small handwritten note by her sink. Buy a card and put it on her windshield first thing the morning so she can start the day off with a lift and a smile.

Behind Closed Doors

Finally, keep the romance alive by acting out that romance in the bedroom (or any other room of the house.) Keep things lively and interesting. Take turns on the kind of evenings you have. If you like sex one way, and she likes it another, alternate activities and foreplay so that nobody feels slighted or left out.

Look at new activities together to find something that both of you agree would be fun to try. Then have a good time – sex shouldn’t be boring. Find ways to make it fresh and interesting, even if it means stepping outside of your comfort zone or giving in to just one more massage before the real action gets started.

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How To Get Your Spouse to Change a Bad Habit

July 23, 2008 by admin  
Filed under Relationships

how to change a spouseIt’s been said many times – you can’t change a person. But for some reason, we keep on thinking we’ll fix someone after we marry him or her. You might not be able to change a whole person, but you might have luck changing a habit or two. Here’s how to get your spouse to change a bad habit.

Surrender

The first step in changing someone else’s habit is to surrender to it. You can’t actually force your spouse to change. Even if you find a way to bribe or blackmail him into changing, he will resent you and eventually that anger will undermine the change and add a negative aspect to the relationship.

You can’t force change, but you can encourage, guide and – best of all – make him think it’s exactly what he wants to do. So surrender the nagging, the complaining, the blackmail and the false guilt. All it will earn you is an irritated spouse determined to continue his bad habit not out of need, but simply because it’s so obvious you’re trying to make him stop.

Praise and Rewards

The next step to changing your spouse’s bad habit is to praise his good ones. Find positive things related to tasks that are essentially the opposite of the bad one. Find ways to praise and reward him not doing the bad habit in a way that isn’t threatening or even obvious.

For example, if you husband smokes but you want him to stop, after he showers, throw your arms around him and sniff him appreciatively. Tell him how sexy he smells after a shower and how much it turns you on. You might even fool around a little bit (or a lot.) Make a comment or two about how much you love it when he smells this clean and how much you love kissing him when his mouth is so fresh.

Then leave it alone. You’ve made your point. Unless you have a very dense spouse, he’ll realize that smelling (and tasting) clean is good, but smelling like smoke is bad. If you rewarded him in an exiting way that speaks to men (as is a way that doesn’t require clothing), he’ll most likely try to smell nice as often as possible. Just be sure to maintain the rewards.

Consistency

The praise and rewards system doesn’t work if you are nagging at the same time or reward good behavior only once. Find every opportunity to reward him for not smelling like smoke, tasting like cigarettes, and casually mention how you’ve noticed he’s cut down lately and how sexy it is that he’s tough to fight that addiction. Sure it’s all a mind game, but what in marriage isn’t? The more consistent reward and praise he gets, the more encouraged he will be to eliminate the bad behavior.

Be Patient

Finally, be patient. Habits aren’t easy to give up. To be truly effective your reward system must be subtle and consistent. Telling him flat out that you will let him have that new boat he’s been eyeballing if he quits isn’t a reward – its bribery. Don’t mention your plan to him or make it obvious what you are doing.

Personal rewards and praise take time to act. They are usually gradual so you must continue to be persistent. Also, don’t give up the reward system when the bad behavior is eliminated. By the time the bad behavior is completely eliminated, you should be almost constantly rewarding your spouse, and if you chose your reward and praise system well, you should be getting more than a few rewards of your own.

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How to Buy a Guy a Present

July 22, 2008 by admin  
Filed under Relationships

how to buy a guy a presentBoys complain about buying present for girls, but men are often very difficult to shop for. There is always the boring tie, or the useless gadget, but what kind of gift shows a guy you care? That, of course, depends on the guy! Here’s how to buy your guy a present.

Determine the Occasion

There are certain gift-giving occasions such as Christmas and birthdays where we feel obligated to give gifts. Even if you truly want to find a gift, there is an extra pressure of finding just the right thing. Other times, you want to give a gift simply because you were inspired to do so by something you saw on the store shelf of because it just seems like fun.

The occasion can make a difference in the kind of gift you buy. Formal occasions such as Valentine’s Day, Christmas and birthdays seem to demand larger, more expensive presents. Gifts given on a whim are often more of a token or in fun making them less expensive and less serious.

Look for Clues

Some men are thoughtful enough to leave clues or hints as to what they would like. Even if your guy is unaware of it, he may be leaving plenty of clues. A broken watch sitting on the counter is a bold sign. So are the shoes that have holes in the soles from lack of use and the dead plant on the counter. Look around his home to see what he needs, and listen to him talk to other friends to get clues as to what he would like to have.

Consider His Personality

You must also consider the personality of your guy. Is he the type of guy who would love beer stein and chia pets for Valentine’s Day, or is someone who would rather have a home cooked meal and candle light? Guys with a sense of humor are often easier to shop for than those who are more seriously romantic. There are simply more fun gifts than romantic ones for men.

Buy With Your Heart

Finally, buy a gift with your heart more so than with your head. You may have every indication that he wants a new golf club. You can buy him the golf club, but be sure you are enjoying the gift giving. If that means buying a humorous golf club cover to go with that club, by all means, knock yourself out. A gift is not an obligation, it is an item freely given by your heart, so be sure you select it with that same organ.

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How to Tell a Guy You Like Him

July 22, 2008 by admin  
Filed under Relationships

how to tell a guy you like himWomen like to show a guy they care despite the fact that men hear words louder than action. While it can be hard to move away from cooking meals and buying him a new tie to show you care, try to find a way to tell a guy you like him that will actually let him know your feelings in his own language – English.

Say the Words

Saying “I like you” doesn’t have the same power or pressure as the more popular, “I love you.” If you’re not sure it’s love, but you’re pretty sure it’s like, feel free to blurt it out. If you’re too squeamish to say it in the heat of the moment, sneak it in while the two of you are laughing about something else. “Ha, ha – you are so funny! That must be why I like you so much!”

Write the Words

If you find you can’t just say the words, feel free to write them. Bake him a cake the way you secretly want to, but then use a bag of candy or chocolate chips to write it out, “I like you.” Or if that seems to cheesy, write him a little note and slip it in his pocket. Or better yet, text him during the day sometime to keep it light, “You know? I really like you – let’s meet for lunch.” Men like food, and they like to be liked. It’s a win-win all around.

Give the Gift

You’re dying to do it, so go ahead. Show the man you care. But if you’re going to pamper him, do it in a way that the message is clear. Washing his socks is nice, but it doesn’t shout romance. Buy him something totally unexpected such as chocolate dipped peppers or a new plant for his office. Since there couldn’t possibly be any other reason to send a present like that over, your guy should get the message loud and clear.

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How To Meet a Guy Online

July 22, 2008 by admin  
Filed under Relationships

how to meet a guy onlineLet’s face it!  Today’s dating world is completely different than it was in the old 1960’s drive-in movie with stale popcorn and your dad’s convertible.  Between working longer and longer hours, after work routines, and family activities, it can be hard to find someone who fits the mold you are looking for.  That is where online dating comes into play and meeting a guy online is the newest and best way to do it.

First, let me tell you that it is time to let go of any stigma you might have about dating online. It’s the 21rst century and it’s time for you to climb aboard and enjoy the ride. Plus, meeting someone online can be much safer for you, if done smartly, than traditional dating.

Here is how you can find a guy online and get your first date. It’s fast, it’s easy and you will be surprised  how effective it is. Start by realizing that you have to go to a dating site to fill out some very basic and non intrusive information about yourself. 

After you have established your own profile:

  • Check your profile for any errors. It sounds odd, however, there are many men/women alike who say that a poorly spelled or grammatically incorrect profile is definitely a turn off.  90% of online profiles contain errors, make sure yours does not!
  • You also need to make sure that you have a great photo posted with those pearly whites showing.  Everybody loves a good smile and profiles that do not have a picture are usually ignored.
  • Don’t be shy. The internet is taking away that first awkward introduction.  You can forget about the communication barriers that have held you back before and let people know who you really are.  In other words, BE OPEN and BE HONEST.

After you have your profile:

  • Make sure that you have a great attitude towards those who try to meet you, as well as those you try to meet.  You will have more fun and you’ll meet more people by showing the great attitude that you have. Besides, nobody likes a bore.
  • You also need to make sure that you are ready for this type of fun.  Meeting someone online is definitely an easy way for you to find someone who shares your same likes/dislikes in many areas. Be prepared and open to meet someone.
  • Like they say, "Good things come to those who wait." Don’t expect to find “The one and only” right away.  Get to know people and go on some fun dates. The more experience you have with meeting people online, the more you will understand what works for you.
  • Make yourself a goal to date 100 men. With this goal (which is easy to meet in a year) you avoid setting yourself up for failure and increase the chance of meeting Mr. Right and not just a Mr. Right Now.

Make first contact:

  • When you go to search for men, keep your initial search to your town only (you can always increase it later) Try and introduce yourself to at least 5-10 new men per week. Once you have exhausted options in your town you can increase the radius of your search.
  • After you have found 5-10 men in your area, you can then try to contact them. Send them and e mail, send them an instant message, send them whatever!  The point here, is to make contact.
  • Make a personal email template that you send out to the men you chose.  Honestly, it’s not to hard. Just write up a quick intro email, cut and copy it, then save it to your desktop. This email will help you to save a lot of time when introducing yourself to every guy you might be interested in.
  • As soon as you get a response, you need to be on the ball and respond back. Men love women who show that they are interested.  Don’t respond within the first five minutes (you are not desperate, and if you are, you don’t want them to know that) but respond back within a day or two. Ensure that your reply is at least three paragraphs long!
  • When you do find someone that you share a great interest in, make sure to set up a phone call and then a date. Do not even think about an online relationship until at least three dates.  Plan to set something up and go on that DATE!  Remember to be you and to have fun.

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How To Meet a Girl Online

July 22, 2008 by admin  
Filed under Relationships

how to meet a girl onlineLet’s face it!  Today’s dating world is completely different than it was in the old 1960’s drive-in movie with stale popcorn and your dad’s convertible.  Between working longer and longer hours, after work routines, and family activities, it can be hard to find someone who fits the mold you are looking for.  That is where online dating comes into play!

First, let me tell you that it is time to let go of any stigma you might have about dating online. It’s the 21rst century and it’s time for you to climb aboard and enjoy the ride. Plus, meeting someone online can be much safer for you, if done smartly, than traditional dating.

Here is how you can find a Girl online and get your first date. It’s fast, it’s easy and you will be surprised  how effective it is. Start by realizing that you have to go to a dating site to fill out some very basic and non intrusive information about yourself. 

After you have established your own profile:

  • Check your profile for any errors. It sounds odd, however, there are many men/women alike who say that a poorly spelled or grammatically incorrect profile is definitely a turn off.  90% of online profiles contain errors, make sure yours does not!
  • You also need to make sure that you have a great photo posted with those pearly whites showing.  Everybody loves a good smile and profiles that do not have a picture are usually ignored.
  • Don’t be shy. The internet is taking away that first awkward introduction.  You can forget about the communication barriers that have held you back before and let people know who you really are.  In other words, BE OPEN and BE HONEST.

After you have your profile:

  • Make sure that you have a great attitude towards those who try to meet you, as well as those you try to meet.  You will have more fun and you’ll meet more people by showing the great attitude that you have. Besides, nobody likes a bore.
  • You also need to make sure that you are ready for this type of fun.  Meeting someone online is definitely an easy way for you to find someone who shares your same likes/dislikes in many areas. Be prepared and open to meet someone.
  • Like they say, “Good things come to those who wait.”  Don’t expect to find “The one and only” right away.  Get to know people and go on some fun dates. The more experience you have with meeting people online, the more you will understand what works for you.
  • Make yourself a goal to date 100 men. With this goal (which is easy to meet in a year) you avoid setting yourself up for failure and increase the chance of meeting Mr. Right and not just a Mr. Right Now.

Make first contact:

  • When you go to search for men, keep your initial search to your town only (you can always increase it later) Try and introduce yourself to at least 5-10 new men per week. Once you have exhausted options in your town you can increase the radius of your search.
  • After you have found 5-10 men in your area, you can then try to contact them. Send them and e mail, send them an instant message, send them whatever!  The point here, is to make contact.
  • Make a personal email template that you send out to the men you chose. Honestly, it’s not to hard. Just write up a quick intro email, cut and copy it, then save it to your desktop. This email will help you to save a lot of time when introducing yourself to every Girl you might be interested in.
  • As soon as you get a response, you need to be on the ball and respond back. Men love women who show that they are interested.  Don’t respond within the first five minutes (you are not desperate, and if you are, you don’t want them to know that) but respond back within a day or two. Ensure that your reply is at least three paragraphs long!
  • When you do find someone that you share a great interest in, make sure to set up a phone call and then a date. Do not even think about an online relationship until at least three dates.  Plan to set something up and go on that DATE!  Remember to be you and to have fun.

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How to Find a Boyfriend

July 22, 2008 by admin  
Filed under Relationships

how to find a boyfriendIf you’re out of school, and afraid to taint your reputation at work by dating co-workers, you might find yourself in an awkward situation. There are horror stories about men you meet in bars and if one more friend fixes you up with some weird guy, you’ll probably lose it. If you want a boyfriend, but can’t seem to find one in your current situation, here’s how to land a decent guy – who might just turn out to be the man of your dreams.

Take Advantage of Internet Dating Sites

Internet dating sites had a seedy reputation for a long time, but today they are acknowledged as a legitimate means to finding others looking for love or at least a good time. If you’re going to use a singles dating site, be sure you understand how the site works and protect yourself by keeping your distance from prospective dates until you’re completely comfortable.

For example, go ahead and create a profile on a dating site and read through the profiles of others. If you get any interested responses, read through them carefully and reply through the board careful to not give away any personal details about yourself such as your last name, phone number or personal email address. Continue your conversation through the site, and then use a personal email address you’ve set up separate from your normal account to speak with him further.

Speak with him on the phone a few times to be sure there are no surprises as to his age before meeting him, and your initial meeting should be in the company of others. Meet him in a popular coffeehouse or restaurant and be sure to let a friend know where you’ll be. Hopefully after meeting him all will be well and you can continue getting to know each other.

Take a Class or Join a Club

If you want to meet people outside of work and away from all that “help” offered by friends and family, go where your type of guy will be. If you want an athletic boyfriend, head to the gym for a membership and sign up for a few personal lessons to learn to use the circuit training system or weights. Make eye contact with possibilities, and see if you get a response. If you become a regular gym member, you’ll be seeing a lot of the same people over and over again offering you plenty of opportunities to strike up a conversation or flirt.

If you want a more intellectual man, join a literary society or take a class at the local community college for enrichment. Like sailing? Join a sailing club. Want a religious man? Join a Bible study.

Go to Church and Participate in the Community

Often romance will strike when you’re least expecting it, so stay active in areas that are important to you. That way, men you’ll be around will have the same priorities saving you a lot of headaches down the road. If you are religious, take advantage of the many singles programs offered by churches to meet new people.

Community service projects such as Habitat for Humanity or other hands on projects will let you rub shoulders with others trying to make the world a better place. And you never know, maybe they’ll make your world a better place, too.

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How To Buy Ballroom Dance Shoes

July 22, 2008 by admin  
Filed under Recreation & Fun

how to buy ballroom shoesBuying the right Latin shoes can be tricky. There are so many different types to choose from and different shoes for different levels. There are a few guidelines that will help any one who is interested in buying dancing shoes. Buying the right shoe makes a huge difference in how you dance. It is amazing what the right shoe can do for you. Here are a few steps to help in purchasing Latin shoes.

  1. If you are a beginning dancer buy a shoe that has a lot of support. NEVER buy shoes with a heel higher than two inches. This changes where your center is and unless you are skilled this will ruin your center and balance.
  2. Don’t buy an expensive pair at first. When you are learning, it doesn’t really matter what brand of shoe you have.
  3. When fitting for ballroom shoes make sure they are a little snug. They stretch out and you want your big toe to be at the very edge of the shoe or slightly over.
  4. When you improve and are ready for the skinnier/higher heal the type of shoe you get is very important.
  5. It is important to get a shoe that is more flexible because you are doing more difficult steps.

Here are some brands that I feel are high quality shoes that look great.
Supadance is one of the top brands. They are based out of England are a little more expensive. There are local vendors but it is cheaper to buy directly from them and pay the shipping costs. These shoes are very flexible but they wear out very fast so expect to buy them often.

International Shoes is another great brand. Their shoes are a little stiffer than Supadance but they last longer. They have more support as well. Ray Rose shoes are great. They are the most flexible of all the brands and they have a great feel and support. This is my favorite brand. There are many other brands but those are the top three that I have tried.

HOW TO BUY STANDARD SHOES

Buying standard shoes is different than buying Latin shoes. Latin shoes have an open toe and standard shoes are closed toe. This is very important in how you dance each dance. You can’t have the same shoes for both styles. There aren’t as many tips for standard shoes as there are for Latin shoes because you don’t need as much flexibility as with Latin.

There are a few things to be aware of how ever.

  1. When purchasing standard shoes always get them so the fit tight. They will stretch out.
  2. They now offer shoes with buckles. These are great because the shoes in the past could fall off. I recommend this type of shoe.
  3. Get shoes with the flare heal. This adds balance and it looks more professional.
  4. Never buy and open toe shoe. Standard shoes have to be closed toe.
  5. The brand that I loved the most was Supadance. I tried other brands but they didn’t come close in the way they look and feel. I would only buy Supadance standard shoes.

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