How To Resolve Conflict in a Marriage

July 23, 2008 by  
Filed under Relationships

how to stop fightingMarriage is hard work. When two people decide to share a life, everything is shared. The good stuff and the bad all live in the house with you, and sometimes the bad stuff can make things sticky. If you’ve hit a rough spot in your marriage, here’s how to resolve that conflict.

Identify the Conflict

The first step in resolving conflict is to figure out what the conflict is. There are all kinds of fighters, but the best kinds are not the ones who never seem to actually fight – they are the ones who take the time to figure out what they are fighting about.

If you and your spouse are suddenly at odds, immediately call a time-out. Even if you’ve just been insulted, avoid the temptation to lash back. Be the mature one and tell your significant other you want to take a few minutes to cool off so that the two of you can work this out.

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Then work on figuring out why you are angry. Most fights are about symptoms, not causes. You are angry because he didn’t take the trash out, but if you stop long enough to really think about it, you might find the trash isn’t really the problem. The problem is that you asked him twice to take the trash out, he ignored both requests and you feel like he doesn’t value you.

Take Turns

It will seem rather elementary, but when you come back together, take turns. You might even use a timer or pass a feather back and forth to remind you whose turn it is to talk. If he’s still itching to fight, let him go first. Let him put it all on the table without interrupting or allowing yourself to get dragged into an argument. If he asks a question, try to avoid answering in the heat of the moment by telling him you’d rather just let him get it all off his chest before taking your turn.

When it is finally your turn, state your position calmly. Always state the problem in terms of yourself to avoid making him feel defensive (even if he should be) as this will slow down the resolution. Instead of saying, “You always make me feel worthless when you ignore me asking you to take out the trash,” try “I get angry when I feel like you’ve ignored a simple request like taking out the trash.” By making statements about you and your feelings rather than your spouse and his shortcomings you will almost immediately take the flare out of the fight.

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Keep Your Cool

You can be angry. You can be furious, but you must keep your cool. Yelling might make you feel better now, but it will most likely only make a problem worse, not better. If your spouse starts yelling, ask him to stop. Simply tell him that you are interested in fixing this problem, and that you’d prefer to talk about it. If he can’t seem to stop, don’t respond in kind. Ask him to let the problem be for now and come back and revisit it later when everyone has had a chance to cool down.

Forgive Your Spouse

A problem isn’t resolved until both parties have moved past it. It’s hard to resolve every conflict by the time the sun comes up, but try to take care of as many as possible the same day they spring up. Discuss what is really bothering both of you then try to find a solution that is agreeable. Finally, forgive each other. Forgive, but don’t forget. Otherwise, you’ll just be having the same argument on down the road.

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How To Get Into Video Games

July 22, 2008 by  
Filed under Recreation & Fun

how to play video gamesVideo games are still a popular hobby by many people across the world of all ages. It’s just as common for the older generation to play video games as well as the younger generation, many people tend to exclude the older age group from playing which can make you loose a huge percentage of buyers if the producer targets a specific age group.

There are many ways in which people can get into the video game scene, some of the common reasons are due to friends and family playing them on a regular basis. If a close friend or family member recommends a good game they think you will like, more times then not you will try it out to see what the fuss is about. They can be very addictive and after one test run, you could be hooked onto that specific series of games and will buy all future releases. Many children nowadays are not very outdoor and sociable, another alternative to watching TV is video games, they provide hours of entertainment which will make the parents happy as they know where they are, what their getting up to and most of all that they are staying safe.

In today’s market there are plenty of different genres of games in which people can play. Not every genre will be suitable for every gamer, the common genres are:

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  • 1st person shooters
  • 3rd person shooters
  • Role playing game
  • Strategy
  • Sport
  • Fighting
  • Adventure
  • Platform
  • Simulation
  • Puzzle
  • Educational
  • Arcade

That’s just a few top level categories, many of these expand out into sub genres giving even more choice for the gamer. As you can see from the list above, you can guarantee that you will find a suitable genre that you enjoy and become a big fan.

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With the increase of technology the gaming industry will only get better as technology improves, the main downside is the price, the later consoles can cost around $500 and above which each game varying from $60+ depending on the age of the game. You can easily spend thousands of dollars on video games in a few months, especially if you play various genres to give you a change depending on your mood.

You can guarantee that if you’re into video games then you will have a hobby for life, new and improved consoles are always due to be released as it make millions of dollars profit for the manufacturers to keep the clientele satisfied with new games and sequels to preceding world famous games.

Another common way of people getting into video games is by playing online, if you spend a fair amount online you will of more then likely played little online flash games which can be terribly addictive as you waste many hours per week trying to beat them. The benefit of these online games is the fact they are available to play free of charge and require no downloads so it’s quick and easy.

There is another variation of online games which entice many people into playing, these are games that have the single player option to play on your own against the artificial intelligence and also include a multi player mode in which you can sign onto the internet and play against human players.

This is very popular amongst the 1st person shooters and role playing games (RPG) such as counter strike, unreal tournament, battlefield, Diablo and many more. These types of games are free to play online once you have bought the game for the desired console. There are certain online games that require you to buy the game itself and install it, and then if you want to play online you have to pay a fee per month. An example of this type of game is World of Warcraft which is one of the biggest online multi player games available to date with well over 8 million users playing on a daily basis. These can be quite common as gamers around the world don’t mind paying a fee to play per month if the game play will be unique and keep them entertained for hours.

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How to Increase the Chance of Having a Boy

July 14, 2008 by  
Filed under Health & Fitness

how to have a baby boyIt is perfectly normal to prefer, or at least think you prefer, one gender over the other when trying to conceive. Of course many parents are shocked to discover just how quickly they adapt to either gender, but this is necessary as only genetic engineering or embryo selection can absolutely determine sex. But if would like to tip the odds, and you’re wondering how to have a baby boy, consider the following:

The Shettles Method

Doctor Shettles has developed a method for conception that has a relatively high percentage of success. His theory is based on the nature of sperm and the speed with which they travel.

All eggs produced by a woman are X chromosomes. Sperm can carry a Y or an X chromosome. Two X’s make a girl baby, and one X (the egg) and one Y make a boy. The Y carrying sperm are smaller and faster than the heavy X carrying sperm. So according to Dr. Shettles, to conceive a boy, you simply need to get the “boy” sperm to the egg before the “girl” sperm.

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Chart Your Cycle

The first step to conceive a baby boy is to chart your monthly cycle so that you know when you are ovulating. You can check for ovulation by keep track of your basal body temperature, checking mucus or by using ovulation strips or a kit. Once you know when you will be ovulating, you can give conceiving a boy a try.

Time Intercourse

To conceive a boy baby you must have intercourse no sooner than twenty-four hours before ovulation and no later than twelve hours after ovulation. Boy sperm live shorter, more frantic lives, so this gives them the best range of time to get to the egg and beat out the girl sperm that move more slowly and live much longer lives. The conditions inside the vagina and cervix are also at their least hostile during ovulation as the mucus is less acidic.

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Tips for Success

To be successful, you should consider additional steps in the conception process. Boy sperm can use a running start as many are killed in the vagina due to its hostile environment. To get them closer to the starting gate, consider positions for intercourse that have deep penetration such as penetration from behind the female. Also, caffeine has been shown to make sperm move more rapidly, so have the man drink a quick cup of coffee or soda before beginning intercourse.

Finally, it is encouraged that the female partner have an orgasm during sex. An orgasm makes the vaginal environment more alkaline which is hostile to girl sperm giving the boy sperm that much more of a fighting chance.

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