How to Punish a Child
Spanking is taboo and time-out doesn’t always work. What’s a parent to do? Here are a few ways to punish bad behavior.
Ignore It
If you see your child breaking a minor rule, you always have the option of ignoring it. If he knows you know, this option isn’t appealing as blatantly ignoring something that is supposedly off limits undermines your entire discipline system. But if you hear your teenage swear accidentally on the stairs, keep walking and pretend you didn’t hear. You don’t have to punish everything – only behavior that is dangerous or defiant.
Discuss the Problem
A firm voice and a shaking head make many children greatly remorseful. Establish eye contact with your child and let them know in clear terms that a particular behavior is unacceptable. A scolding might clear up the problem, but be sure to let her know the consequences if she is defiant and continues to break the rule during this calm discussion phase.
Removal from the Situation
If your child is acting up because a friend or family member is a bit out of control, you don’t want a time out which will punish only your child for the conduct. Instead, remove your child from the situation tactfully which is punishment by separation for both of the involved parties. A discussion on behavior later will remind your child that your rules apply everywhere – even if her cousin doesn’t seem t have the same guidelines.
Removal of Privileges
Once your child knowingly breaks a rule or acts in a dangerous way, removing privileges is highly effective. Be sure your level of punishments meets the level of the crime and set the punishment effectively the first time. If you realize later that a day of no TV would have been enough, follow through with your original week long restriction. Otherwise your child will think all punishments will be lenient and disappear before the time is up. Besides, skipping television never hurt anyone.
Time Out
Time out works well for younger children. The number of minutes in time-our should correspond with the child’s age and you should always be as calm and rational as possible when putting a child in time out. Ideally, you warn and scold your child the first time an offense occurs and then place her in time out when she willfully does it again.
Calmly let her know why she’s in time out and require her to apologize when her time is up.
Spanking
If you don’t have a problem with spanking, it can be an effective discipline tool. It should, however, be used as a last resort and only with a clear head. A single swat on a thickly diapered bottom is probably punishment enough following a drawn out sullen wait and scolding. You’re going for psychological factors, not pain in spankings. Older children don’t benefit from spankings, and will be more effectively punished by removing their privileges.
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Posted in Family & Parenting, kids
