How To Keep From Spoiling a Child
Have you ever walked through a super market and come across a kid kicking and screaming in the middle of an isle with the parent unable to control their child? Most of us have seen this in one form or another and it is obvious that the child is completely spoiled and used to getting their own way.
But, what do you do if this is your child? First, let’s understand that spoiled behavior is a learned behavior and therefore it CAN be reversed. The difficult part is teaching yourself appropriate responses to bad behavior and then following through with consistent discipline.
- Avoid giving into your child so that you can avoid having to deal with bad behavior. When you give a kid what they want simply to keep them quiet and well behaved, you are telling them that you are willing to play by their rules.
- Don’t always put your child first. As children grow and begin to face the real world they will discover that the world does not revolve around them. Start this lesson early and make sure that they know that you are allowed to take time to yourself.
- Don’t constantly protect your child. Obviously this does not mean letting your child have free reign. It does however, mean that you should let your child fail sometimes. We all learn by doing and experience will teach your child much better than you ever can. As your child gets older, let the rope that separates your wants and their natural desire to explore, get longer.
In addition, parents who are well off financially have the tendency to give in to their children(s) every want. This leads to difficulty later on in life and can cause destructive and unwanted behavior. Decide what your child is allowed to have BEFORE you leave for the store or on your errands. Do not give in to the child’s desire for instant gratification.
It is important to give kids the tools they need to learn how to earn what they want. Being a single mother of 4 makes it difficult at times, but I continually have to remind my kids why we work for what we want and not everything is given to us. They have learned along the way that if they want something they don’t need and a special holiday or birthday is not in the near future, they will do what it takes to earn the money themselves.
It is very rewarding for the parents and the kids when they achieve their goals in this fashion. We live strongly by the NIFIL rule. (Nothing In Life Is Free). This will help kids out in the future when they don’t have us to lean on whenever something comes up.
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Posted in Family & Parenting, kids
