How to Decide How Many Kids to Have
Before you have your first child, it’s easy to plan your future family. Once the first child comes your plans might change. And if you’re completely enamored with your first and can’t image your life without another three or four angels, a second child might make you examine your feelings again. Kids are the absolute best reward for a lot of hard work, but only you can decide how many kids to have.
Your Temperament
Your temperament can make a huge impact on the number of children you have. Parents must be patient and able to deal with the daily stress of children making demands of their time and energy as well as the constant issues that will arise throughout the day. Granted this work is paid off grandly with hugs and kisses, but if hugs and kisses won’t keep your emotions in check on a very stressful day, fewer kids might be the answer.
Your Age
Your age obviously impacts your future family. If you have your first child at thirty-nine, you’re already limited on the number of children you can have. Many mothers over thirty-five have one or two children as thirty-five is considered a higher risk age for child bearing. On the other hand, if you have your first child very young, you may decide to have an only child to give you an opportunity to reclaim your own passions and pursuits as soon as possible.
Your Spouse
Your spouse will have a huge impact on the number of children you have. If he wants an only child and you want four, unless he is willing to be convinced a house full of children is really okay, you’re likely stuck at one.
Your Finances
Numbers matter, especially with children. Diapers and formula can add up to hundreds per month and clothes, shoes and food for older children are not cheap either. Every child you have will be expensive even without adding in college costs. Granted the first child will be the biggest budget buster. After that each child represents a few more diapers and another plate at the table.
Your Other Children
If you have a child with special needs, you may decide to have only one child so that you can devote your time and attention to his needs. Some parents have additional children to build a caring family, but every child requires a huge portion of your time and attention. You can’t short one child for the sake of another.
Your Marriage
If your marriage is solid and your partner is a partner in parenting and pregnancy, multiple children are natural additions to the family. But if your marriage is not quite this ideal or your spouse works long hours or isn’t as involved in parenting as you are, fewer children will be easier to manage.
Your Time
Time is a finite resource. There are only twenty-four hours in the day and you likely spend close to eight of them sleeping. The remaining sixteen hours are divided between everything you must do in a day as well as meaningful time with each member of your family. The fewer family members there are, the more individual time each is able to enjoy. If your time is already stretched due to the requirements of your career or your lifestyle, fewer children will allow you to devote more time and attention to each.
Your Instincts
Sometimes you just know you’re meant to be the mother of many children and you love the idea of a loud, noisy home. If your instincts are telling you to have many children and your spouse is willing, there is absolutely no reason to not indulge yourself. Fill up your home with racing children and bouncing babies. Each child brings so much magic to a home, a home filled with kids is a home brimming with love.
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Posted in Building a Family, Family & Parenting
