How to Get Over a Boy
August 5, 2010 by Rebecca
Filed under Relationships
Love hurts sometimes, and to be quite honest, so does “like.” But whether you loved him or just liked him, many relationships eventually break up and it’s time to move on. Moving on can be a challenge, through – especially if this was your first serious relationship.
Come to Terms with the Relationship
You don’t have to play games in your head about the relationships. Go back through your pictures and letters and look at what really happened to the two of you. It might be that you were growing apart for months and you just didn’t realize it at the time. Or perhaps you were only together because neither one of you wanted to be the one to end it. Whatever happened, lay it all out for yourself and try to figure out how you feel about it. Of course you’re hurt and sad, but is there a feeling underneath? Jealousy? Anger? Fear? Relief? The more you know about you, the easier recovery will be.
Surround Yourself with Positive Friends
A breakup is a time to first spend alone as you deal with the fall out. Then you’ll want to have your friends around you as you start to move on. Having friends around gives you something to focus on other than what’s inside of you. You’ll be able to laugh, joke and have a good time again – even if you’re still hurting a bit. It’s important to remember that smiling through the pain is good for you; staying upbeat and not allowing you or your friends to wallow in the drama of it all makes the whole thing fade away just a little bit faster.
Dedicate That Extra Time to Something Productive
You will likely have some extra time after the breakup if you’d previously been spending that time with your guy. So start surrounding yourself with other people or other hobbies. Go out with some new friends to see what sorts of adventures you’ll have. Do some volunteer or mission work. Try out for the school play or pick up a paint brush to see how you do with a blank canvas. The more work you have to do, the better occupied you and your mind will be as you recover.
Easy Step By Step Instructions For Getting Over a Boy
- Spend some time thinking about the relationship and replaying it to sort through it all in your mind.
- Surround yourself with friends who can distract you and give you a new focus.
- Find new hobbies and activities to fill the time you have now that you’re single.
Warnings, Advice, and Suggestions When Getting Over a Boy
It might be tempting to rush out and find another guy right after a break-up, but try to avoid that. You need time to learn and heal from a broken relationship, and you can’t heal if you’re immediately falling into the same sort of relationship again.
How to Find a Meaningful Relationship as an Older Woman
October 19, 2009 by Rebecca
Filed under Relationships
It’s certainly no secret that society and culture value youthfulness above all else, yet women well past their twenties and thirties are able to find meaningful relationships despite this. Learning to work the dating market in your 40s, 50s and 60s can definitely be a challenge, however, if you’re unfamiliar with the best ways to meet individuals you’d consider worthy of a romantic relationship.
Take Stock of Your Current Dating Position
If you’re having a great time dating and finding fun activities with friends of all ages and genders, you are definitely at an advantage. If, on the other hand, you have a hard time getting out of the house and finding a social life outside of your small circle of friends, you will need to broaden your horizons a bit to find a bit of romance. Even the go-getter with a wide circle of friends might need refinement when it comes to singling out romantic possibilities from various friendships.
Determine Your Goals in Dating
Before trying to leap into a new relationship, be sure that you, in fact, want a new relationship. Being alone after years of marriage can be frightening, but the solution to a bit of loneliness is not a new relationship unless you’re healed from your part relationship and ready to start another life adventure. A new relationship is not a replacement for the one you lost or left behind, and you must be emotionally stable and ready to tackle the new opportunities. If you realize you’re simply lonely, reach out to a circle of friends first and join groups and organizations to start filling that need. A new man in your life won’t be able to fill a void – that is something you’ll need to do before starting the relationship.
Begin the Search for New Dates
You can start your own search for suitable dates through your church, your organizations and the internet. If you’re intimidated by the prospects of putting yourself back on the market, consider the services of a dating coach. The coach can guide you though the development of an online dating profile and help you understand the healthiest ways to approach online dating and other relationships.
Be Open-Minded and Selective in Selecting Potential Dates
Completely opposing philosophies, but equally important. You must be open-minded when accepting invitations to meet and discuss. You likely won’t be compatible with every person you agree to meet for coffee, so don’t set your parameters so narrow that you exclude your future partner based on height or weight.
At the same time, however, do set limits that are critically important to you. If a man’s language makes you uncomfortable in communications, cease communicating. If you find his manners offensive in a phone conversation, stop calling. If you feel strongly about certain elements in a profile, such as religious persuasion, follow your instincts in those areas.
Have Fun Dating Older Men
As you arrange meetings and dates, just enjoy yourself. Work to enjoy yourself in the moment. Yes, you are certainly under scrutiny and so is he, but work past that to get to the fun of the date, even if it’s the only one you have. If you date simply without grand expectations and an eye to the joy of the experience, you’ll not only have a good time on all of you various encounters, you’ll also be more likely to find a man who enjoys your true nature as you’re not afraid to show off who you really are.
Easy Step By Step Instructions When Dating as an Older Woman
- Take stock in where you are currently in your dating plans
- Determine what you want from dating and be sure those goals are healthy and positive
- Begin searching for new dates
- Carefully select dates to meet and visit with
- Have fun and see the joy in each date you try and you’ll enjoy them all, regardless of outcome
Warnings, Advice, and Suggestions for Older Women Who are Dating
Work at being happy and healthy on your own. Your innate wisdom and overall personality will shine through if you’re fulfilled in your own right.
How To Plan a Victorian Wedding
August 3, 2009 by Rebecca
Filed under Relationships
There are so many types of weddings today, it can be fun to ignore the modern approaches to romance and instead enjoy the sentiments of a time gone by. Vintage wedding pieces and a vintage style to your big day will be especially beautiful and memorable as well. Victorian weddings will work with large groups, but are especially moving with a small number of guests.
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Choose Your Location For Your Wedding
Victorian weddings were not held on the beaches or on the peak of the mountains. They were often held at home, in the backyard, at a small hotel or in the local church. If your home is large enough to accommodate a wedding, why not plan to wed in your living room after coming gracefully down the stairs. Or consider your backyard with string musicians and plenty of fresh flowers.
Arrange Flowers For a Victorian Wedding
Your floral arrangements should reflect the more limited selections of flowers from a century ago. Tropical flowers were not as readily available, and at the turn of the century, many felt that certain flowers had specific meanings. Forget-me-nots and white roses for purity were very common at wedding as were many other flowers. A cluster bouquet or a cascade of flowers is a beautiful arrangement for walking down the aisle.
Buy a Vintage Wedding Gown
No Victorian wedding is complete without a vintage wedding gown. Visit consignment shops and specialty retailers in your area to see what sorts of vintage wedding gowns they have available. You might have a gown in storage that your grandmother once wore. You might also be able to find an antique gown online as well. Don’t forget to include accent pieces such as vintage wedding shoes with your gown.
Plan the Wedding Details
The details of a wedding strike guests the most. Be sure that all accessories and decorations follow your vintage theme. Lace, crocheted items and fabrics should be richly textured. Avoid paper or cardboard. If you must, use the heavy paper similar to what was used a century ago. The more attention you pay to the details, the more striking your wedding will be in your memory and in the memory of your guests.
Easy Step By Step Instructions For Planning a Victorian Wedding
- Discuss your idea of a Victorian wedding with your fiancé to be sure everyone is on board
- Plan a location for the wedding that is characteristic of weddings a century ago
- Arrange or buy arrangements of flowers with traditional elements and designs to fit your theme
- Buy or have a custom vintage-style gown created for the occasion
- Be sure that all details match your theme
Warnings, Advice, and Suggestions When Planning a Victorian Wedding
If you’re unable to find the right size or style of gown for you Victorian wedding, have one altered or made for you in the correct style and size.
How to Keep the Romance Alive
May 3, 2009 by Rebecca
Filed under Relationships
Jobs, bills, children, families, all these stressors in our lives can lead us away from the romantic honeymoon phase everyone loves and straight into the relationship slump. During a slump you may feel as if you and your partner have lost the connection, the spark that makes your relationship so special. There are ways however to rekindle that flame and keep the romance alive.
Focus Your Efforts To the Relationship
One of the main reasons couples fall into slumps is that they forget to put the other person in their relationship first. Couples fall into patterns and often forget the needs and desires of their partner. Sit down and remember something from when your first meant that meant a lot to your partner. Maybe they love a certain brand of expensive coffee or a certain CD.
However small the gesture, try to do something just for them. Giving your partner a gift or attempting to do something nice for them will remind both of you why you fell in love and helps break bad habits that you may have fallen into. With such a small gesture, you are re-establishing a connection and showing that even after all this time, he or she is still important to you.
Set Aside a Little Time for Your Relationship
Each week, schedule a date night together. Even an hour of quality time allows you both to connect and share. These little moments will bring you together again and allow you to connect with each other again, not as parents or other role you may play during your day, but as a couple that loves each other. Even an hour each week is a good place to start.
If you have young children and can’t find a babysitter each week, plan something fun after the kids are in bed or ask another couple to watch your kids for one night a week in exchange for watching theirs. Time together can be as simple or romantic as you want and sometimes may even feel inconvenient. Make the effort. The fact that you have tried will show your partner that you are committed and still want to be with them.
Resolve Relationship Conflicts
A healthy relationship will involve conflict now and then. The difference between healthy and unhealthy is how you resolve your differences. Couples that fight are actually communicating better than couples that always agree. Arguments are an opportunity to express your opinion and learn about your partner’s likes and dislikes. Make sure that you listen to one another and find a way to resolve the conflict. Some arguments will last a lifetime but if you are able to reach a compromise, you can still have a happy, healthy lifelong relationship.
Easy Step By Step Instructions For Keeping Romance Alive
- Make it about them. Do something to show them you remember who they are as an individual and still appreciate them for those qualities. Find small ways to show them that you care.
- Set aside a little time each week. If date night isn’t possible, spend an hour together or have dinner with one another at home. A little time each week allows you to reconnect and continue learning about each other.
- Find a resolution. Not all fights can be resolved but it is important that you find a way to live with those differences. Find some sort of common ground and agree to disagree.
Warnings, Advice, and Suggestions When Keeping a Romance Alive
Don’t be afraid to tell each other how you feel. Angry, sad or happy, emotions are important to share with each other.
How to Survive Your First Deployment as a Military Spouse
February 13, 2009 by admin
Filed under Relationships
Two months into my relationship, we received a letter with the one word no military spouse or significant other ever wants to hear: Deployment. At first, I was devastated. I wondered if I was strong enough to be on my own from almost a year, everyday worrying about the safety and well being of my boyfriend. I wondered how I would survive and how would I make it through.
Communication With Your Partner
From the day you receive orders, to the day your loved one returns, it is imperative that you keep lines of communication open between you. Not everyone is as lucky as I was to be able to talk on the phone. Sometimes it will be months before you receive a phone call. Be honest about how you are feeling. Let them know that you miss them. If you are scared, tell them why. There is a lot of debate, especially amongst military wives whether it is better for the soldier to hear what they want to hear. It is true that a worried soldier on deployment is not as focused but it is also true that you are human and allowed to have feelings.
Stay Busy and Active
The easiest way to survive deployment is to stay busy and active. Time goes by faster and there is less time to miss them if you are engaged in activities. Holidays will pass, birthdays will come and go but the important thing to remember is that every day brings you closer and closer. Set small goals for yourself like organizing the closet, running a marathon, reading a book. Not only do these things keep your occupied, they are ways to stay connected with yourself instead of getting caught up in losing time with your loved one.
Care Packages Are a Great Help
SNACKS SNACKS SNACKS. Everything overseas comes in stale and just not the same as from home. Little reminders of home that don’t take up much room or can be used and disposed of are always welcome distractions and fun projects for the people at home. Small ways to pass the time are also handy on deployments. Decks of cards, Nerf balls and stationary are always easy and inexpensive to send.
Easy Step By Step Instructions For Surviving Your First Military Deployment
- Communicate. Even if phone calls aren’t allowed, write letters when you can just to keep your loved one informed of what is happening at home and how much they are missed.
- Stay busy. Despite the urge to stay in bed all day, get out and have some fun. Being around people and participating in activities will not only make time go by faster but will be a good investment in yourself.
Warnings, Advice, and Suggestions When Surviving Your First Deployment
Don’t panic if time goes by and you don’t get a phone call. Life on deployment in unpredictable and busy at times. Build a network of support. Turn to friends or family when you are feeling alone. Focus on yourself. Become the best version of yourself you can and when your loved one comes home, surprise them with how much you have grown.
How to Register for Your Wedding
February 13, 2009 by admin
Filed under Relationships
Registering for your wedding can be a fun, exciting experience for you and your soon-to-be-spouse to do together. More retailers now offer easy-to-use registration stations in their stores as well as online, making the experience quick and easy.
Where to register
The first step is deciding where you will register. This decision is based on several factors including what types of items you want, personal taste and price ranges. The best websites for wedding registries present a large variety of items such as www.bedbathandbeyond.com. Websites like these allow you to pick a variety of items and have an eclectic mix of styles and price ranges. Having a larger selection is not only great for you as a couple, but makes shopping for your wedding easier on your guests as well.
Picking out the gifts
If you are using an online registry, most websites will allow you to pick items and quantities of each item to add to your registry from any computer. An account is created using your name and wedding date. From there, guests are able to buy individual items or sets of items (like wine glasses) and have them shipped directly to you or they have the option of printing the registry to use as a shopping guide.
Other stores will have a kiosk located near the customer service counter. You are asked to walk through the store with a scanner and scan items that interest you, indicating colors, quantities, etc. Your guests are then able to view the registry and see what items you have requested. Once items are purchased, shoppers will be able to indicate what they bought so others don’t repeat the gift.
Easy Step-by-Step Instructions
- Choose the store. Try to find a store that suits your tastes and needs and offers a large variety of items and price ranges.
- Choose wisely. Pick items that you will use, are affordable and you might not buy for yourself after paying the florist and caterer and everyone else under the sun. Remember that your guests want to give you a gift they know you will use and enjoy.
Warnings advice and suggestions
If your family or friends are from different parts of the country or world, pick a store with national locations. They will be able to find a location near them and shop for you without having to go far from home. Choose a variety of gifts that will allow guests to personalize what they are giving you. Not everyone will want to give you silverware and that stuffed hedgehog may not be as funny to Aunt Susan in the way it is to your friend Kate. Pick gifts as a couple. The presents are to wish you both well and should be for both of you.
How To Meet More Women
December 23, 2008 by admin
Filed under Relationships
If you’re searching for a special someone you’ve likely tried everything from speed dating to online dating and you might even be aware of experts in the matter such as David DeAngelo. While these experts might have steps and action plans you can follow in specific situations, most men seeking women need only to do a few things to increase your chances of meeting someone special.
Be Comfortable in Yourself
The most offensive thing to a woman is a weak man. Sure, she likes you to be sensitive some of the time, but knowing who you are and what you are about within yourself shines through in a great bout of self confidence. Don’t be timid or shy about who you are. If you’re comfortable with yourself everyone else will be, too. It there are parts of yourself that you don’t like – fix them or get okay with them. Don’t hide behind them.
Know Where to Find the Kind of Woman You Want
There are different approaches to different kinds of women. If you are seeking someone for an evening of fun, a flirty pick-up line laced with a bit of raw humor might do the trick. If you’re seeking someone you’d want to have around for the long haul who you’d introduce to your mother, it’s unlikely you’d find her at a hedonism retreat in the islands – unlikely, but still possible.
If you’re seeking a fun woman, go where she would be having fun. If you are looking for a religious woman, look in places where those of her religion might congregate. If your looking for a woman interested in the same things as you – do those things and start looking around. The idea that single women are available at work or at a bar is ludicrous. They are everywhere – you need only to open your eyes to find them.
Be Bold, but Not Offensive
Women like a strong male presence, so give her one. Make assertive eye contact. Make your way over to her and ask her about herself or start a conversation about anything at all. Keep your eyes on her face and act like you own the place to a certain degree. Be honest, but totally confident. If you approach women as you would a friend, they will have little to fear from you. If you approach a woman like a homing missile, she’ll already be on the defensive. Play it cool and confident and she’ll be yours.
Easy Step By Step
- Get comfortable with yourself.
- Think about the kind of woman you want
- Go to where that kind of woman would be.
- Be confident and friendly around women.
- Act bold, but not so much so that you’re offensive.
Warnings, Advice, and Suggestions
There is a fine line between being a “nice guy” and being a wimp. Be a gentleman with a bit of a roguish flavor to you and women won’t be able to resist.
How to Decorate a Church for a Wedding
November 10, 2008 by admin
Filed under Relationships
When it’s your special day you want everything to be beautiful – including the church. To decorate the church for a wedding, you’ll need to take into account what can be changed and what can not.
The Basics
First consider the existing aspects of the church. Does it have orange carpet? You’ll need to plan for that in your decorations. Is there a huge amount of blue and red? You might stick to primary colors. You can also see what options are available in the form of scarves and banners in the church. Many churches have a set arrangement of scarves and draperies used at every wedding and the church or at the least the wedding coordinator might have strong feelings about how and what is used.
Learn the Rules
Your church might have rules about certain things such as removing existing elements of the sanctuary or using certain decorations. They might also have rules about what is allowed and what isn’t. If you’ve dreamed of walking down a aisle strewn with rose petals only to learn that the church does not agree with rose petals on their new carpet, you will be a bit out of luck. Learn what is okay by the church before making any definite arrangements.
Minimize What You Don’t Like
Once you learn what you’re working with, your next step will be to minimize the things you dislike, such as that orange carpet. Consider using a runner in a white or blue down the center of the church to hide much of the carpet. If you dislike the arrangements on the alter, play them down with terrific floral arrangements and candelabras. Hide what you can and work around the rest.
Maximize What You Do
As for what you do like, play it up. Do you love the hardwood floors of the church? Play with up with scattered rose petals and sweeping trains designed to bring attention downward. Think the wooden pews are a bit frumpy? Dazzle them with strands of ribbon and fixed floral arrangements on the ends of each. Bunting along boring structures and draped ivy and candles are excellent additions to almost any décor.
Easy Step By Step
- View the church objectively to see what you have to work with. Take note of who you have to work with as well
- Learn the rules of your church. You don’t want to plan for something you’re not allowed to have.
- Find ways to minimize the things you don’t particularly care for such as large floral arrangements, buntings and runners.
- Use the things you do like to play up the grand features of the church – work around these to enhance the natural beauty.
Warnings, Advice, and Suggestions
Always remember that your wedding is just a beautiful day in your life-time of marriage. If your flowers show up in the wrong shade, relax and go with it – change what you can, hide what you can, and go with the rest. Your love is more important than a tulle bow anyway.
How to Propose At Christmas
November 3, 2008 by admin
Filed under Relationships
The holidays are a magical time with twinkling lights, cold air, rosy cheeks and romance. For many, the holidays are a terrific time to set things in motion for the future by asking your girlfriend to marry you. If you plan to propose over Christmas, bear a few things in mind.
Consider Your Temperaments
There are three kinds of marriage proposals – the private and romantic one, the surprise in front of a large crowd, and the semi-private one surrounding by friends and family. To set the perfect backdrop for your holiday proposal, you need to consider your temperament and that of your girlfriend. If she’s the type who would be shy and embarrassed to be the center of attention, you can nix any grand schemes. You might opt to avoid family audiences as well as these are often even more uncomfortable for shy individuals.
If your girlfriend is outgoing and loves a crowd, you can be bold and daring in your proposal – she’d likely relish the story of opening the ring box in front of all her students at the school’s Christmas party or seeing you on stage with a little box in the intermission of the holiday symphony.
Get Permission
While old fashioned, it’s still a nice touch to speak to a girl’s father, mother or older sibling about marriage before asking her. You might not be traditional in this regard, but you don’t want to risk alienating your future-in-laws by insulting them and not showing what they consider the proper amount of respect.
Go Shopping
You’re in luck that jewelry is on sale during the holidays just as many other things are. When buying a ring, keep your girlfriend’s tastes in mind and try to select something you like that you feel comfortable she’d like as well. You might also bear in mind her occupation – nurses and doctors, for example, have a hard time with tall rings under gloves. Rather than saving money if the ring you like is on sale, spend your budgeted amount on a ring in a larger setting – you don’t want to be accused of skimping on the engagement ring.
Make a Plan
A proposal is something you need to plan as it will be a memory that lasts a lifetime. You don’t have to be elaborate, but you should be prepared to make it meaningful somehow. Use the Christmas spirit and decorations to your favor. Wrap the box and put it in her holiday stocking alongside her family’s. Or wrap it and place it inside a larger box to keep the surprise longer as she opens one box to find the ring box inside.
Take a snowy carriage ride and sneak the ring onto her finger. Hide it in a glass of champagne at a holiday party. Get down on one knee in the middle of the elementary school’s holiday party (assuming your girlfriend is a teacher there.) Make it fun and meaningful – it will be a memory to last a lifetime.
Easy Step By Step
- Get permission or ask for a blessing before proposing.
- Buy a ring that suits your girlfriend’s temperament.
- Make a plan that suits the two of you that takes advantage of the Christmas season
- Propose!
Warnings, Advice, and Suggestions
Try and maintain the surprise as long as possible. The surprise of the proposal is the largest part of the fun and romance. If your girlfriend is suspicious, work extra hard to find a way to make it a surprise to keep it fun.
How to Tell if a Guy is Attracted to You
October 16, 2008 by admin
Filed under Relationships
It would seem as though men are complicated animals. They seem to send off vibes and messages that are almost impossible for girls to interpret. In truth, however, most guys are far less complicated than we think, and when a guy seems to be tricky, it’s usually the girl reading too much into the situation.
So how do you know if a guy is attracted to you?
You ask him. Granted, you might not want to put yourself or him on the spot by marching up and asking him (or sending a pack of your friends they way girls do in junior high), but you can ask a guy about his interest in many different ways.
Flirting
Your first bet is to flirt with a guy. Most guys are hesitant to take the upper hand. They are shy and uncertain about what to do – most have much more success with ladies in the locker room stories than they do in real life. Help him out by giving him an opening in which to tell you (or show you) that he likes you.
Flirt with him in a not-so-casual way. Touch him lightly on the shoulder or the arm when speaking and lean in. Look directly into his eyes and smile. You can even make eye contact across the room and smile to send a clear message. For guys, eyes and a direct smile is like a beacon of light – they know where they stand and will come hither (if they are interested in return.)
Provide an Opening
Even when you know a guy likes you, and he’s done his best to let you know by finding an excuse to stop by your lunch table or send you a funny email, you might have to give him another opening to actual step things up a notch. If you’re in school, pass him your number and ask him to give you a call so you can talk about the latest science project. If you’re at a party, find an excuse to walk outside together so he can ask for your number. You might even mention that a group is going to IHOP and does he want to come? If he says yes without looking panic-stricken, you can safely assume the boy likes you.
Easy Step By Step
- Watch a guy for clues he might be interested
- Send him openings in the form of flirting and conversations that let him know you’re interested in return
- If he’s truly interested, he’ll respond to your messages and it might be the start of a beautiful relationship
Warnings, Advice, and Suggestions
When a guy cares about his buddy, he teases him and calls him names. He will practically ridicule a guy friend to show how close they are. If a guy is suddenly picking on you or seems to be pestering you all the time with sick jokes, stupid stories and a constant presence, you can assume he is probably interested in you and just doesn’t know how to actually talk to a girl rather than another guy.



