How to Deal with a Surprise Pregnancy
Written By: Rebecca
When you see an unexpected blue line or in our digital age, a glaring “Pregnant,” your world may grind to a halt. You’re pregnant. You didn’t plan it, and you’re not sure what to do about it. This is a high stress situation, but your first step is to stop worrying about that positive and let your initial emotions process. Then, when you’ve finished shaking, screaming, yelling, cheering and crying you’re ready to deal with your surprise pregnancy.
Assess Your Emotions
Your emotions will tell you a lot about what to do next with your pregnancy. If you listen to your body for a few days and try to understand the whirl of emotions you might get a sense of how much you actually want to be pregnant. Is there an underlying dread about becoming a parent or are you excited about the possibility? As hard as it is, leave your marital, financial and other situations out of the emotional mix right now. The question now is what do YOU want?
Assess Your Situation
Your next step is to assess your situation. This time leave emotion out of the mix while you look at your living conditions, your relationship and your means of support. There are almost no conditions that can’t be overcome if you’re ready to become a parent, but knowing what you have on your side and what you’re up against will help you clear the way. Look at everything with the eyes of a potential mother, not just a girl or woman.
Option A or Option B
At this point you will likely clue your significant other into the pregnancy and be sure to give him time to process the news. Remember how you felt and let him vent and express his emotions. The first few hours are no indication of how he’ll feel once the shock has worn off.
Then the two of you will have to make an important decision. Do you want to keep the baby. You likely already know the answer to this based on your emotional response and your situation. Your emotions should win our over situations, however since you can work to change your situation.
Hear your partner out, but trust in your own instincts. Your partner is an important part of this decision, but you will be responsible for the next nine months. Only you can create a healthy baby if you choose to continue the pregnancy. There is no need to discuss adoption or any other plan at this point except possible a sneaky marriage if you’re trying to hide the “surprise” factor.
Act on Your Decision
If you decided to abort the pregnancy, follow the requirements set forth in your state. Realize that there is a timeframe on your decision and laws may require you take certain steps before carrying out the procedure. If you decide to continue the pregnancy, arrange prenatal care immediately to get started on vitamins and a healthy diet to be sure your baby grows to be as healthy as possible.
Plan for Parenthood
Once you’ve started a pregnancy, you have eight months or so to prepare to become a parent. This might be enough time to train in a new career or finish a current program. It’s enough time to move to a new area or move back home to a better support system if your relationship doesn’t work out. Eight months is plenty of time to get married, get divorced or separate. You might even start a new relationship while pregnant.
It’s impossible to see into the future, obviously, but spend this eight months getting ready to become a parent. Even if you offer your baby in adoption, you’ll still need to understand the process of labor and delivery. You’ll also need to make arrangements for the future of your child.
If you’re keeping the baby, find a safe home for the two of you and a means of support. If you’re married this will be far easier than if you’re single, but there are many programs and support systems in place for single mothers. Regardless of marital status, find a support system through your family, a community center or religious center to help you through the process.
